Desperate Housewives
Every Day A Little Death

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Every Day A Little Death

Across town, Lynette makes Pinwheel blow his runny nose, and then swings into her yoga studio. I am sure the rest of the moms will be thrilled that she brought her sick kid in to infect their perfectly healthy offspring. If he's too sick to be in school, he's too sick for you to drag him to yoga, lady. Gawd. Anyway, Lynette notices that the sign-up sheet for the studio's day care center is full, so she just sticks her name at the bottom anyway. She is so selfish and self-centered. She stopped her car in the middle of the road the other day, now she's forcing her sick kid into day care. All so she can get what she wants. Lynette is the most self-centered character I have ever come across and I RECAPPED DAWSON'S CREEK. Anyway. Lauren, the receptionist, tells Lynette that day care is full. The class is in full swing behind Lynette, so she's clearly late. ["My biggest peeve! Yoga has a very specific warm-up period, not to mention that you get there early so that you can roll out your mat with enough room around you, and then people come in late, both breaking your concentration and crowding you (like the woman who showed up late one time and unrolled her mat behind me, hitting me in the head while I was trying to deep-breathe. If you're late to yoga, you're missing the class. End of story." -- Wing Chun] Lynette brats that the class is always full: "The other moms come early." "All I can tell you is plan ahead next time," Lauren tells her. And I guess we're supposed to find her just terrible for saying that, but it's true. You want to get into a busy class? Get to the goddamn gym early and stop acting like you feel so entitled to everything, Lynette.

But Lynette starts her usual Pity Party litany about how she's a mother of four and she got up at 5 to make breakfast and lunches and her life is so hard and I would feel worse for her if she didn't just FIRE HER NANNY. Besides, I thought she just called the agency and asked for an ugly dude to come watch her kids. What happened to that? Oh, right. We're supposed to forget anything that happened in any episode other than the one we're watching. Lynette: "Telling me to plan ahead is like telling me to sprout wings, and it's things like being told to plan ahead that make me so crazy that yoga is the only thing that relaxes me, except I show up late and I can't get in and you tell me to plan ahead. It's a vicious cycle." Wah wah wah. You're not the only lady who every pushed out a baby, Lynette. Lauren points out that if she breaks the rules for Lynette, she's going to have to do it for everyone: "And the moms who actually follow the rules would get all pissed with me and I'd have to get pissy right back, and before you know it, I don't have time to read my magazine. See how that works?" "I hope someday, you have lots of children," Lynette says. You know what, Lynette? If she does, I bet SHE'D BE ON TIME TO MAKE SURE THEY GOT INTO DAY CARE. Because she's had to enforce the rules, she's more likely to follow them in the future. Anyway, Lynette gets a phone call. It's Susan. "What?" Lynette gasps.

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Desperate Housewives




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