Desperate Housewives
Every Day A Little Death

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Every Day A Little Death

KimberBree and George picnic at the park. KimberBree thinks picnicking is "such a lovely, old-fashioned way to spend an afternoon." George responds that he's an "old-fashioned kind of guy." In my experience, that only means they won't go down on you. Oh my God, did I really just type that? Mom, it's just an expression. George reaches over and touches KimberBree's hand -- she's still wearing her huge wedding ring -- and she withdraws it quickly, allegedly to check her watch. It's time to get him back to work! she says. First, he wants to give her a gift. KimberBree is thrilled -- and even more thrilled when she opens the box to find "a nine-millimeter Luger P08!" She is takes it out and cocks it. Apparently, near Wisteria Lane, it is totally okay to wave a gun around a crowded park. Just so you know. "From the moment you said you were in the NRA, I wanted to give it to you," George tells her ardently. KimberBree tells him that she can't accept it! It's too valuable! He explains that his grandfather left it to him. "It was surrendered to him by a solider during World War II. And since I don't know how to shoot..." KimberBree is so pleased. She waxes poetic over the mother-of-pearl handle. "George, this is just so much better than an orchid," she says, and places her hand on his.

Susan walks over to Felicia, who is taking out the garbage, and who informs Susan primly that she doesn't need any help at all. Susan offers that it must be hard for Felicia not to know who killed her sister, or why. "I'm hoping her journals will provide some insight," Felicia says. "Journals?" Susan squeaks. I bet you twenty bucks Felicia already knows that Susan burned down Edie's house. "Martha kept them for years," Felicia drawls. "So she must have written lots of things in them...?" Susan says. "Every. Mundane. Detail. Of her life. And everyone else's, for that matter. The police want to see then, but I'm stalling them until I have a chance to read through them first myself. Wouldn't want any embarrassing family secrets getting out." Felicia turns away from Susan and goes into the house. She's like a cat with a mouse. I love it.

Susan turns to head home and, in a lovely cut, turns back to the camera in her own kitchen with Julie. "I am so screwed," she whines. Julie tells her to chill out. "Everything about the fire and the measuring cup is going to be in that journal. Everyone is gonna think I'm an arsonist," Susan wails. Julie assures Susan that it'll be okay. But she is going to have to come clean with Edie. If Edie doesn't press charges, the police will "let it go." I don't think they let it go when you burn someone's house down, if only because Edie's not pressing charges makes it look like they were in it together to defraud the insurance company, but I'll let this pass. "Are you high?" Susan asks. "Edie hates me." Julie tells her that's why exactly why she's going to have to "suck up to Edie Britt."

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Desperate Housewives




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