Mike gets home to find his door open and the place trashed. His stash of money and weapons are gone. But he's got a message on the answering machine: "Hey, Mike. As you've probably seen by now, I took back my money, and what little information you managed to dig up on your neighbors. Your replacement's gonna need it. Pack up and move on with your life. Sorry for the mess."
Yoga. Petit Four's shaved head makes the receptionist think he has cancer, so she slides them right into day care even though it's full. Lynette totally allows this. That's all the effort I plan to devote to this plotline. Lynette's behavior is bad karma at best and indefensible behavior at worst -- not to mention really fucking liable to totally fuck up her kid's psyche -- and I'm not going to justify it with more then the barest minimum of attention. Oh, except to say one more thing: Lynette's plot lines don't go anywhere. They all teach us the same thing about her character: she's a harried mother of four. She's selfish. She is self-involved. She's tired. The end. Everything she does stems from those simple and unchanging facts. She gets no character development. She doesn't change. There is no jeopardy in her character's life. Susan could be found out for being an arsonist; she could lose Mike; her child is cavorting with the son of a murderer. There are stakes in her plotline. KimberBree is fighting to save her marriage; her kids are a mess; her son is guilty of a hit and run that she conspired to cover up. That's jeopardy for her character. Gabrielle's got a Push Me-Pull You marriage; she was having an affair with an underage neighbor. She's got drama, too. Lynette? Her kids are brats and she's tired. The end. I guess you could argue that she's dissatisfied with her life, but welcome to the club. She has no dramatic jeopardy built into her character, and therefore, she's boring. She doesn't add anything to the show. And she's also a total asshole. If I wasn't otherwise contractually obligated, I would fast-forward through her scenes.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. Susan goes over to the construction site that used to be Edie's house kiss Edie's ass. "I got to say, I envy you," she tells Edie. "In the name of God, why?" Edie asks, and Susan explains that Edie's so lucky to be able to build her dream house for free: "In a weird way, your house burning down was a good thing!" Edie tells her there's nothing good about it. She lost her photos. Her memories. Everything. "Is there something you want?" she asks. Susan stammers, and finally says she wanted to see how Edie was holding up with the whole Mrs. Kravitz being dead thing. "My best friend was murdered and stuffed into a garbage bag and nobody cares enough to go with me to spread her ashes," Edie tells her, like, how does Susan think she feels. So Susan guiltily offers to go.