Casa Convicted. Gabrielle comes in, wearing a kind of totally fabulous gold satin gown and carrying a bucket of chicken. God, that was totally me last night. Carlos tells her that he's starving, so she just hands him the bucket and tells him she's too tired to eat. Any food that comes in a bucket is automatically funny. Carlos rubs her shoulders and wonders if she got a chance to go see his mother, who is still wasting away in Comaville. Gabrielle didn't get a moment, but she's going to go tomorrow. Carlos says that he's sure Mama Solis will snap out of it at any moment: "And you know what would make her really happy?" Gabrielle snaps that if he says "a grandchild," she is going to lose it. He promised, no babies! Carlos tells her that "things change." Gabrielle snaps that she's well aware of that, as she's suddenly found herself married to a felon and working trade shows. "A baby is solid. A constant," Carlos tells her. Carlos, have you ever even MET a baby? They are NEITHER. They get bigger, for one thing, and louder. They love you one day, and can't stand you the next. They're demanding. They are changeable. I am all about the babies, but I would describe them as neither solid nor constant. Gabrielle retorts that she's the one who's going to have to take care of their little constant while he's in the big house. She likes her life, and doesn't want to "kill it." I believe "it" is "her life" and not "the baby." Carlos tells her that their old way of life is already dead: "You can't control that." She agrees, but tells him that there's one thing she can control, and that is having a baby. "You, I can control," she adds. Carlos, of course, gets all Man of the House on her, and so she just takes the bucket of chicken away from him and storms out, through the yard and across the street. Carlos follows her as far as he can with the electronic leash on, but eventually has to stand on the edge of his property and watch helplessly as she eats all his chicken. "You're the man of the house?" Gabrielle yells at him. "You can't even leave it!"
George and KimberBree go out to...a deserted farm house? An open field? I don't know. They're going for target practice. KimberBree sets up bottles for said practice, and George gets all excited because he's never fired a gun before. KimberBree tells him, "You always remember your first time. I hope I brought enough bullets!" George hesitates, and finally says that he can't tell her what these last few days have meant to him. What with all the getting out of the house and the trying new things. "We sure have had some fun!" KimberBree agrees perkily. George tells her that it's more than that: "I'm starting to forget what it feels like to be lonely." Stalker alert! Stalker alert! This is going to end in tears. Probably George's. "Oh, that's sweet. Come on, let's go shoot something!" KimberBree tells him. So, she gives him some basic safety instructions, and explains how to shoot the gun. She demonstrates on him, putting her arms around him to adjust his hands. "What's that perfume you're wearing?" he asks. She tells him that she isn't wearing any at all. George wonders if she's sure: "Because you smell amazing." KimberBree thinks. "Oh! I was making macaroons before I left the house," she tells him. And they head back to the instructions. There's all this blah blah about holding the gun like "a little white dove," firmly enough that it doesn't fly away but not so firmly that you kill it and have all that bad karma following you around. But George is so not thinking about the gun. Unless you mean the gun in his pants. I'm sorry. That was terrible. Anyway, KimberBree says, "All you have to do is take a deep breath, and squeeze the trigger." As she says this -- and he does it -- he also turns to kiss her. She squeals -- because of how he's trying to kiss her and shoot a gun at the same time -- and he falls to the ground screaming and holding his foot. We should set him up with Susan.