Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
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Deathmatch: Monkey vs. Clown

Previously: Karl and Bree had an affair. Mrs. McCluskey got a boyfriend. Katherine went crazy. Julie was attacked, and Danny Bolen was suspected, so his mom told him where they keep the family gun. But Julie had secrets: She'd been dating Danny's dad, Nick.

We open on Gaby checking her mail and judging everyone around her: strangers' clothes, neighbors' lawns, and Bob and Lee fighting in their yard. Mary Alice tells us that we judge people all the time, never knowing that someday we might be the ones judged. Gaby walks back in the house as Juanita and a friend tumble to the bottom of the stairs in a suitcase. Gaby asks what she told Juanita about sliding down the stairs in a suitcase, and Juanita says, "Not to use the good suitcase." Heh. Gaby's like, "Right, but also not to do it at all." Just then the other girl's mom comes in and wonders how Gaby could let this happen. Gaby says they were playing, and she can't watch them every second, but the mother (Deb of One Tree Hill fame) tells Gaby she watches Juanita carefully when she's at her house, and basically that Gaby's a terrible, neglectful mother and she's not bringing her daughter over anymore. Which is fine with Gaby, since Juanita only invited Rachel over out of pity. Laura says Rachel won't be coming to Juanita's birthday party, either, and Gaby says that just leaves more cake for them. Laura takes her daughter and leaves, and Gaby yells after her that if she'd taught her daughter to tuck and roll on impact, they wouldn't even be having this conversation. Mary Alice tells us that, in addition to judging, we also tend to blame other for our mistakes. Opening titles.

Mary Alice narrates as Julie arrives home to a welcome-home party. She's greeted by children with signs (MJ), housewives with desserts (Lynette and Gaby), and old friends with flowers (some random twentysomethings). Also in the crowd was a new friend (Nick/Dominick), who came with an agenda. Inside at the party, Julie thanks some friends for coming and is left alone. Nick seizes the opportunity to accost her, and beg to go somewhere quiet to talk. She tells him that's not happening anymore. She calls him "Dominick" and tells him in no uncertain terms that it's over. Then she uses Mrs. McCluskey as an excuse to leave him. He looks over and sees that Danny saw the whole conversation. Danny takes off.

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Desperate Housewives

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