Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
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Deathmatch: Monkey vs. Clown

Julie's outside staring at the recycling bins where her attack occurred when Danny comes up. It scares her and he apologizes, saying he should have realized that would scare her. He tells her that some people thought it was him, but she says she knows it wasn't him. He asks if the guy she was seeing might have had something to do with it, but she says "he's not that kind of guy." He asks if she has any idea, and she says she doesn't so she can't really sleep. He thinks he has something to help, and he digs his parents' gun out of a box of money and other secret things in their drawer.

Scavo's. Mike's leading a neighborhood watch meeting as Susan stands next to him, watching Katherine make come-to-mama faces at him. Mike introduces Susan to talk about patrol duty, but she's still watching Katherine in shock. Finally she walks up to the front and makes out with Mike in front of the neighborhood. Angie asks Nick what she's patrolling for, Mike's tonsils? Ba-dump-bump. Katherine looks disgusted. Susan says there is one shift that still needs volunteers. Lee raises his hand, but Bob whispers Project Runway, so he drops his hand. Katherine's raising her hand, and even waving it, but Susan ignores her and selects two others. The meeting's adjourned and Mike tells Susan he has to go unclog someone's drain. She kisses him again, and he tells her he's not sure Katherine saw that one, so let's do it once more. She kisses him again and he leaves.

Katherine approaches her and wonders why Susan ignored her raised hand. Susan says she was just trying to pick people who could best protect the neighborhood. She says Katherine can't because she's a big, fat liar. Katherine's all, "Excuse ME?!" Susan asks if she's not going around telling people Mike hit on her, and Katherine says she knows Susan's under some strain, but this isn't really the place to air her dirty laundry. Susan says Katherine's the one with dirty laundry; hers is clean, folded, and put away, "you loon." Bree tries to break it up, but Katherine tells them all that first Susan called her a liar and now she's calling her a loon. Katherine says she understands why Susan's upset; she'd be on edge too if her marriage were having problems. Susan gets in her face and says the only problem she and Mike have is Katherine, so "stay out of our lives, or you'll be sorry." Katherine wonders where Mike went if they're so happy. Susan says, "He's snaking a lady's drain, okay?" Everyone looks at her, and she's like, "I realize how that sounded. Get your minds out of the gutter." Sorry, Susan. Not going to happen.

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Desperate Housewives

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