Desperate Housewives

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Deathmatch: Monkey vs. Clown

Casa de Solis. Susan hands Gaby a margarita on the front porch and says that now it's a kids' party. Gaby's still mopey until Susan talks her out of it, and then Gaby gets overly confident about how great of a time the kids are having. On cue, the kids all run out from the backyard shrieking. Gaby's like, "They're loud" and yells for them quiet down. Susan sees MJ run by and asks what's wrong. He tells her the monkey's killing the clown. Gaby jumps up and runs to the backyard, where we hear shrieking, see clown feet behind a table, and see the monkey trainer running by telling Gaby he has to get his tranquilizer gun. He blames the lack of a nap, and the clown popping a balloon in his face. The monkey comes out from the behind the table with the clown's wig torn into pieces. The clown groans. Later, Laura's storming off with Rachel as Gaby says she was there every minute and it's not her fault she got a homicidal monkey. The clown goes by on a stretcher, groaning. Laura's horrified and gives Gaby a final glare.

Scavo's. Tom doesn't get why Lynette fired Roy since he was putting the birdhouse where she wanted it. She says it's not about that; it's about Roy saying she emasculates Tom. Tom's impressed: "He said that?" She says he actually went with a more nut-cracking analogy. Tom says he's funny, but Lynette says he's not and this would be a good time for him to say she isn't a castrating bitch. He says, "Sure. Just put down the knife first." She glares, and he's like, "Wow. We are not laughing at this at all, huh?" She says no, and he tells her they're great and wonders why she cares what Roy thinks. He kisses her, and she says it bugs her that Roy's judging her. He gets chicken out of the freezer and she tells him to just get burgers from the garage. He puts the chicken back and heads to the garage. Which is open, so he sees Roy on his front porch. He heads over.

On the porch, Roy tells Tom if this is about him getting into it with Lynette, he has to apologize first. He says he knows times have changed, but a man's still a man and Tom deserves to have his wife respect him. Tom says she respects him plenty, and Roy scoffs. Tom sits down and says Lynette grew up without a dad and her mom was a drinker so she had to be responsible for everyone. Roy says that's rough, and Tom says it is and it left her with a constant fear that everything could suddenly fall apart, which is why she needs to control everything. He says she can't, of course, but she can control him, if he lets her. So he does. Because it makes her feel safe, and that's his job as her husband. Roy tells him he's a good man. I couldn't agree more. That's pretty much the sweetest thing ever. He says he tries, and goes to fetch Lynette's burgers.

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Desperate Housewives

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