Desperate Housewives

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Deathmatch: Monkey vs. Clown

Casa de Solis. Carlos tells Gaby to stop beating herself up, it wasn't that bad. She says, "A monkey almost killed a clown. That is the definition of a bad children's party." He laughs. She says Laura's right: She's a terrible mom. Carlos says he's not expert at raising children or anything, but "when all those other kids ran screaming for their moms Juanita jumped in the bouncy house and zipped it up and Celia played dead. Those girls are smart." Gaby agrees they're quick on their feet, and he says they wouldn't be if she'd been hovering over them their whole lives. "They have learned to be independent and resourceful. And that is thanks to your negligence." She says that's so sweet, and then we hear a thud down the stairs, followed by a little girl's "Ow." Gaby yells, "That better not be the good suitcase!" Oh, the Solises are awesome.

Susan's in bed when Julie yells, "Mom!" Susan jumps up in a panic and runs downstairs, where she finds Julie with a gun. She says someone's outside, and since Mike's on a job, they're both freaked out. Susan takes the gun away from Julie and asks what she's thinking. They see a shadow and duck. Susan asks if it's loaded (it is). They walk to the window and Susan yells that she has a gun and has called the police. Susan looks out the window and sees someone, then falls back in shock and fires the gun. She looks out the window and Katherine's lying there. She sits up with a blood streak on her arm, and says, "You shot me!" Commercials.

Julie and Susan run outside, as Susan tells Katherine the gun just went off and asks if she's all right. Katherine: "You tried to kill me!" Susan: "Oh. I just shot you. Let's not be throwing accusations around." Julie says it looks like it just grazed her and there's not much blood. Bob and Lee come out and ask what happened, and Katherine tells them Susan shot her and to call the police. Lee's like, "I told you she would snap. It's always the pretty ones." Susan insists it was an accident. Katherine wants Bob to be her lawyer, but Susan calls him as her lawyer and waves the gun around. Bob and Lee put their hands in the air. Hee. Bree and Orson come out, since they heard a gun go off. Katherine tells them Susan shot her. It never gets old watching the neighbors react to that. Bree's like, "Susan!" Susan says she didn't know it was her, and wonders why she was sneaking around. Speaking of sneaking, Nick joins the melee about then. Katherine says she was on neighborhood watch, filling in for Tom, who had to study. Susan says Katherine should have checked with her, which Katherine says she was trying to do when Susan shot her. Nick tells everyone to calm down and says he's going to go call an ambulance. Orson picks up the gun and says they should probably unload it before someone else gets hurt. He hands it to his wife and says, "Bree, dear?" She unloads it with skill, obviously tickling Orson.

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Desperate Housewives

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