The first hour of the two-part season finale starts out much like any other episode: Mary Alice's voiceover catches us up on all of the recent goings-on: Bree robbed herself to leave Orson with nothing, but he found her storage unit. Mike got jealous that Susan was going to marry Jackson so he proposed to Katherine. Then Jackson got deported. Creepy Dave found out Susan was the driver when his wife and kids died. Gaby and Carlos continued to be irrelevant, but rich. And Tom was stuck in a midlife crisis.
That's where we pick up, and things move pretty quickly. Orson steals the stuff back from the storage unit and has it in the house when Bree arrives home. She tells him she wants a divorce, which he takes pretty well. If by "well" you mean that he tells her he's going to go ahead and stay married, unless she wants to go to jail for insurance fraud, since he filed the claim. When Preston tells Lynette he wants to spend time in Europe instead of going to college, she gets Tom to take him on a college campus tour. Preston's still not interested in college, but Tom is. He wants to study Chinese. Lynette thinks it's another midlife crisis so she sabotages his admissions test, and then finds out he wanted to learn Chinese to be a better businessman. Uh-oh. She just ruined his actual brilliant plan. Carlos and Gaby go to a family reunion at the home of Carlos's aunt (Miss Patty), whom Gaby hates. They end up volunteering to take in Miss Patty's teenage granddaughter, but there's some sort of secret about her that Miss Patty isn't spilling.
Jackson calls Susan from jail, tells her he's being deported, and that it was an anonymous tip that got him put there. He thinks it was Mike, who was clearly jealous of Jackson and still hung up on Susan. When Susan heads over to confront Mike, he's in the shower, but Katherine confesses that it couldn't have been Mike who got Jackson arrested because she sort of never told him about the fake marriage because she thought he'd then call her marriage off. Mike comes downstairs and it's awkward because he wanted to be the one to tell Susan about his engagement. Susan talks to him later to find out if he really loves Katherine. He says he does, and then Katherine walks in and they announce they're going to Las Vegas this weekend to get married. They invite Susan, but she already has plans. Those plans are the fishing trip with Creepy Dave, who is ready to kill MJ as the cops are closing in (they interview Jackson, who finally tells them he saw Dave coming out of the storage room the night of the fire). Oh, and Creepy Dave even made a video about why he killed MJ and gave it to Mike, with instructions not to watch until after the honeymoon. Mike doesn't watch it, even though he notices Creepy Dave's creepiness right before he drives away with his son and ex-wife. Meanwhile, Mrs. McCluskey and her kooky sister are closing in the truth about Creepy Dave. Which all leads us to the next hour...
Previously: Jackson and Susan announced their marriage, so Mike proposed to Katherine. Then Jackson got deported. Bree robbed herself, and Orson found her storage unit. Susan told Creepy Dave she was the driver who killed his family. Now Mary Alice brings us into the episode by telling us that Creepy Dave wants to be forgiven, which is why he made the videotape. On the tape, he explains that he didn't want to kill MJ, but he had to because Susan killed his wife and daughter. He says he knows it was supposedly an accident, but that a person who took two precious lives shouldn't be allowed to just walk away. And he couldn't kill Susan, because there would be no suffering. He gets emotional and says, "And to those who hate me because I took the life of an innocent young boy, I say..." Doorbell rings. "...Ah, crap." He shuts off the camera, though, so I guess that's a wrap. Mary Alice tells us again that Creepy Dave wanted everyone to forgive him. He opens his door to find MJ, who shows off the new tackle box he got for their fishing trip. Mary Alice finishes, "But not until he finished doing the unforgivable." MJ smiles sweetly. Get it? He's cute and innocent so killing him is bad. I'm glad they hit us over the head with that, because it totally wasn't clear that killing a kid was bad before.
Mary Alice is back after credits and commercials, explaining how the detectives on the nightclub fire case came to figure out that the burned body went from being John Doe to Dr. Heller. They first got a call from an impound lot about a car that had been rented by Dr. Heller, who had been reported missing four months earlier. The dental records confirmed it, but his receptionist didn't. Because, remember, Creepy Dave was texting her, which she tells them. She says the last text she got from Dr. Heller was just a few weeks ago. The detectives would like to send a text back, so they ask for the phone. Creepy Dave's Dr. Heller phone buzzes, but he's on the way out of his house. He arrives at Susan's, and she wants to know if he said something to MJ about the fishing trip. He did, because he totally wants to cheer her up and he even got MJ a life vest. Susan wishes she could go, but she's worried about Jackson and she wants to be home if he calls. Creepy Dave gets very pushy and mean about it, even stopping her from closing the door. He calls Susan selfish for not letting MJ go fishing. Susan pushes back and says she just told him she couldn't go. He says he's just thinking about MJ, and Susan says he'll be fine. Creepy Dave finally relents, saying it's just a trip.