Gabby pays Lynette a visit down at her office. Ooh, I like this cross-pollination between their worlds! Lynette shows Gabby the Raging Bull photo of Andrew, but Gabby doesn't believe Bree's responsible. Lynette: "I don't either. But on the other hand, she spanked my kids, she lied about her drinking, and I once saw her bitch-slap her mother-in-law. So I'm torn." And just when I'm ready to write this episode off as a continuity disaster, they give me this: a scene that actually builds atop past events (and I'd totally forgotten that bitch slap). Who should Lynette believe? Andrew and his claim of systematic abuse, or Bree who says that Andrew is lying just to get at his money? Well, Gabby, for one, is on Bree's side; she remembers what it was like to be a teenager, back when she "would have done a hell of a lot more than punch [herself] in the eye to get a car." Hey, good scene! But...where's Tom? Does he no longer work with Lynette?
Susan is waiting out on the curb in front of her house. Doesn't she have a children's book to illustrate? Karl's car appears around the bend, and Susan immediately starts to wave her cane around all spastically. Stop with the cane, you're killing me! So she's flapping around, and screaming, "Karl! Karl! Stop! It's an emergency!" I think maybe she's overreacting just a bit? But okay, so she tells him about Edie's ill-advised plans for tomorrow night's surprise wedding. Karl: "God, I hate surprises." Susan warbles that she knows that! Oh, Mr. GRANT! Karl gets out and guides Susan around the car and into the passenger seat, telling her not to worry, and that they'll figure something out. Julie, who's watching the whole thing from inside the house, shakes her head in disgust.
Trucker Donna is over at Bree's house, sipping tea and laying out her rules as a sponsor. Her style is "proactive," meaning that she doesn't do any handholding when someone falls off the wagon. Bree comes in with her ubiquitous offering of muffins, METAPHORICALLY, but Donna declines, saying that she's "not big on snacks," which, much like the Great Cream Soda Scene from earlier, reads like it's supposed to be a joke, but isn't, which is awkward. Also awkward? Donna's next line, when she tells Bree, "I'm not a lesbian." How does the old saying go? If you have to say it, you can't afford it? Bree: "Good for you!" Donna explains that if she were lesbionic, AA wouldn't let her be Bree's sponsor (really? that sounds totally wrong), because they might get "tangled up in a little something," which could interfere with Bree's recovery: "So whatever vibe you might be getting, that's all on you." Wait, so Trucker Donna is a lesbian, or isn't she? I don't get it. Bree smiles frozenly for a few beats, and then returns to her Hempy lament: while Bree surely appreciates Donna's help, she just feels like things were going so well with Hempy: "And I was thinking..." Donna: "All right, stop RIGHT there!" Donna snaps that Bree is "fixating" on Hempy. Bree: "I just really feel like I'm jeopardizing my recovery by switching." Man, Bree has got the lingo down. Donna moves over closer to Bree on the couch, causing Bree to lean waaay back, and starts explaining how her "99\% success rate as a sponsor" is due to her complete lack of tolerance "for people to lie to themselves." Donna stands and yanks Bree to her feet. They're going hiking! Because, as Donna says, "there's nothing like it for taking your mind off booze." Bree, who isn't wearing the hike-friendliest of clothes (she has on a light pink skirt and a little green cardigan and, I think, heels), looks totally under-stoked; I don't think she's really a hike kind of person.