Desperate Housewives
Everybody Says Don't

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Everybody Says Don't

Bree arrives early at her AA meeting, per Hempy's request. It turns out that he can't be her sponsor anymore because of the sexual-tension thing. He introduces her to Donna (played by Diane Delano, who looks like a trucker Kathy Bates). Much to Bree's chagrin, Donna is going to be Bree's new sponsor. Bree tries to convince Hempy that she should stay with him, and he tries to explain that, given their recent table tussle, it's best that they stay apart. Otherwise, it could "affect [their] recovery." Bree pleads with him: "It's not a good time for change in my life, Peter. Terrible things are happening. I'm headed to court. I need your support more than ever." Hempy gives her the stony face and tells her that she'll have plenty of support; she just won't have his. He walks away, and Bree looks devastated. Well, at least she has his Hulk-torn tee to sniff.

Gabby pays Lynette a visit down at her office. Ooh, I like this cross-pollination between their worlds! Lynette shows Gabby the Raging Bull photo of Andrew, but Gabby doesn't believe Bree's responsible. Lynette: "I don't either. But on the other hand, she spanked my kids, she lied about her drinking, and I once saw her bitch-slap her mother-in-law. So I'm torn." And just when I'm ready to write this episode off as a continuity disaster, they give me this: a scene that actually builds atop past events (and I'd totally forgotten that bitch slap). Who should Lynette believe? Andrew and his claim of systematic abuse, or Bree who says that Andrew is lying just to get at his money? Well, Gabby, for one, is on Bree's side; she remembers what it was like to be a teenager, back when she "would have done a hell of a lot more than punch [herself] in the eye to get a car." Hey, good scene! But...where's Tom? Does he no longer work with Lynette?

Susan is waiting out on the curb in front of her house. Doesn't she have a children's book to illustrate? Karl's car appears around the bend, and Susan immediately starts to wave her cane around all spastically. Stop with the cane, you're killing me! So she's flapping around, and screaming, "Karl! Karl! Stop! It's an emergency!" I think maybe she's overreacting just a bit? But okay, so she tells him about Edie's ill-advised plans for tomorrow night's surprise wedding. Karl: "God, I hate surprises." Susan warbles that she knows that! Oh, Mr. GRANT! Karl gets out and guides Susan around the car and into the passenger seat, telling her not to worry, and that they'll figure something out. Julie, who's watching the whole thing from inside the house, shakes her head in disgust.

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Desperate Housewives

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