Poor old Susan is spending the last of her food stamps on gourmet pomegranate juice and prosciutto at Trader Joe's when MJ starts howling about how he wants to travel back in time to the '70s and watch his favorite cartoon, Tom & Jerry, so she tells all the women in line that she's on dialysis and they lay down palm fronds and put her on the back of a donkey and she doesn't even have to pay for her groceries, it's just balloons come down from the ceiling and there's glitter and a neon sign lights up that says DIALYSIS in rainbow letters and she just stares ungratefully at them like she can't believe they didn't bring her some coffee and where's her dialysis footrub and bring me some more of those lemon-poppy muffins samples from Aisle 5, because momma gets dialysis six hours a day, three times a week.
Las Colinas, which is funny every time because the real Las Colinas is like the suburban DFW equivalent of Silicon Valley -- polo shirts and Aspergers and NordicTracks, all the way from here to the big Texas horizon -- and nothing like what we're looking at: A pile of industrial waste that has been set on fire. Some creepy old nun comes trolling around the corner, and you can tell from the complete lack of affect on Gabi's face exactly what went down there, but before she can attack the nun for throwing her child self under the sexual abuse bus, some lady comes running up with the hilarity of Gabi's maiden name: "Gabrielle Marquez."
Did we know this? That's the funniest joke this show has ever done, if so. Well played, show. Tell me her mom's maiden name was Garcia and I will mail you five dollars, show. Here is a hug from me to you. So anyway, the lady is so excited because as it turns out, Gabi's a hometown hero, having been the only person who ever escaped and who hit escape velocity so hard, due to the hell of her life there, that she eventually became an international supermodel. Possibly this would get more play, but Gabi's feeling sick because of the nun, so they hit the hotel for a minute.
Keith has dropped off Charlie and his mom at the airport to Florida, and will now commence sitting on the porch looking sad and heavily tattooed. Bree is sympathetic, to the degree that she has a sympathetic bone in her body, and he spins some tale about how the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon and inside herself Bree's just like, "Well, that's enough of that. Time once again to arrange everybody else's life to my greatest convenience."