Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1191 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
One Hundred Years Of Solipsism

The Twins have actually found an apartment, and the Scavos are super-excited about loading up the car, taking pictures, tearful hugs goodbye -- Tom's still not clear on what is actually going on, really -- and then the car pulls out of the driveway and onto the Lane and then errk parks in front of the McCluskey residence, across the street. Awesomely, Lynette's only response at this time is to delete all the photos she just took, because that is some bullshit.

Susan gets out of jury duty through dialysis -- six hours a day, three times a week -- but like as a trick to delight Renee, who's been a proudly soulless monster forever while Susan is only now learning this about herself. Renee reiterates, as she does every week, that there is no reason for her and Susan to be friends, and then Susan says that she is owed all the shit and perqs she can get because of dialysis and how it's inconvenient and horrible. Like everybody else on dialysis, but you know, a little bit more because it's fucking Susan and everything is more important when it's about her. Renee responds by dragging her to this hot new restaurant in town, Girard's, where she can't get a table.

Dinner with Susan? Priceless. Dinner with Susan where she gets to hold it over your head the entire time that her illness is the reason you have the table? Even better.

"You sure you want to eat here? I think I just saw two cockroaches throwing up." Oh, Carlos, I miss you. It's only recently that you've become wonderful again. They go into the restaurant, and it's covered with photos of Gabi and crawling with poor people, and then before you know it they're dining on Gabrielle Garcia Marquez Nacho Platters and taking photographs with everybody and they all think Carlos is her chauffeur and she's offering to do radio spots and give a speech at her old school to help the girls understand that if you're pretty enough, your dreams might just come true.

Remember Beth? We haven't seen her since Paul was in the hospital and he figured out that she's Felicia's daughter and decided probably to torture her to death. I'm happy to see her; she's very happy to have Paul back. But he's acting super weird, even for Paul Young, and then he starts waving her gun around ("My son tried to kill me. Fool me once!") and asking why "his bride" brought a gun into the house in the first place, and because she has no idea what he's on about -- but does, truly, love him -- she gets twenty kinds of codependent and appeasing with him, to no avail.

Desperate Housewives

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP