Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
One Hundred Years Of Solipsism

Get it, girl. (Impute usual boilerplate about how good of an actress Eva Longoria is, with a slight NB that she actually pulls back from this part because there's no drama in it: Just the truth. All the screaming about the baby and Texas, and now this. Cold and sad and healing right in front of you.)

Gabi's like, "Hey Sister Marta, remember when I came to you as a trusted adult and told you I was being raped by a parent and you told me I was a liar and a piece of trash and I should feel ashamed? Joke's on me, because I totally did feel ashamed for the last 20 years, despite being the only person in the situation who was completely blameless." The nun's like, "I don't believe you," and tries to run away, and Gabi is just like, "No. Because check it: My therapist sent me here to tell my stepfather how I felt about things now, and it occurs to me that he is dead, while you merely appear that way."

So here's my letter: I did not deserve what happened to me. I was a child. But you were a grown-up, and you did nothing. You should be ashamed of yourself.

And that's how Gabi finally found her way home.

Lynette brings the Twins a keg in the hopes that they will somehow cause the deaths of McCluskey and her ogling husband Carl, and thus she will win. The Twins are so stupid that they buy into this, and that's how McCluskey's house got toilet-papered by an art department so aggressive that it ends up looking like a Christo installation.

Beth Young being good and spooked, Paul heads back to rehab to ask Zach why he shot him, and what follows is a crazed druggie conversation I couldn't really follow. At first Paul is steadfast, not entirely unloving, and then Zach starts in on this stuff about how Paul's the reason Mary Alice killed herself, which we know and Paul knows is not true, and while at first Paul assesses that this is all drug talk and Zach hasn't actually hated him this entire time, Zach kind of pulls him off his conversational bicycle and onto the ground so that by the end of the interaction Paul is convinced that nobody could ever love him.

I'm going to leave this one in a liminal space for now, because I honestly don't understand the point of it. It was effective acting- wise, and Zach is always wonderful, but the intent of the scene -- Are we rewriting the history of the two relationships at the heart of this show? The Youngs are the first thing that ever happened, and we've covered all of this. So are we saying Zach is delusional and confused and contributing to Paul's unearned martyrdom? -- is unclear.

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Desperate Housewives




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