Tom is home from work, and based on how dark it is in the house, I'm guessing he's been really putting off tonight's homecoming. "Honey," he calls, "are you home?" He looks searchingly around the living room, when from the shadows Lynette makes him jump by saying, "Three months?" Apparently she's just been sitting in the dark, staring out the window. "Were you ever going to tell me?" Why, Lynette wonders, would Tom even hire that woman? Tom tries to sidestep the question with the technicality that actually his boss hired her; he only vouched for her: "Look, she was devastated when I left her for you. I felt bad!" Lynette cuts right to the chase by asking, "Do you still have feelings for her?" And instead of just answering her, he says, "All right, I'm not talking to you." So not an answer! Were they not opening an office in Belize, maybe Tom could talk to his boss about getting Annabel transferred. "I'm serious," Lynette says. "If she stays, I will haunt your office. I'll bring you lunch every day. I'll bring the kids to visit. I will change diapers on your desk. Every birthday cake in the break room, every retirement party, I'll be there, watching her." As her threat builds momentum, Lynette starts smiling with confidence. It almost looks as though she's having a good time here. But then Tom comes right back at her: "Well, I better get you a parking space, because she's staying." He turns to walk up the stairs and Lynette stares after him, deflated.
Oh look, Susan's mom is hanging up a horrible beaded strand curtain, the kind that gets immediately tangled whenever anyone actually tries to walk through it. It's especially idiotic because it hangs in a double-wide doorway that features a pair of fully functional glass-paned doors, which now can't actually close anymore thanks to the heinous beaded curtain. "Don't you think it spices up the room?" Sophie gushes to Susan. Before Susan has a chance to deliver what was surely going to be a less-than-enthusiastic answer, the doorbell rings. It's Zana, with potted "sorry I put out your eye"...flowers. Zana very much wants to be friends with Susan, so that he and Julie can get back on track. "Yeah, well, that's not going to happen," Susan says. Susan reminds him of the time he threw a table in her house. Zana acknowledges that he was way out of line that night, whoa, but that they have to get over it "for Julie's sake." Aww, Zana! First love can be so hideously blind. "How do you think it makes her feel that her mother and her boyfriend can't even get along?" he adds. Susan: "Zach? Julie does not think of you as her boyfriend. In fact, I don't think she wants anything to do with you." Zana doesn't believe Susan! But if Julie did say so (and right about now, Zana really starts to yell), it's because Susan tells her stuff about Zana that ISN'T TRUE! From across the street, CreePaul yells for Zana to "Come here! Right now!" Cut to Felicia, watering FLOWERS out on her front stoop and tuning in to the drama. Piano music swells as Zana, with a tear-strained voice, begs Susan, "Please? Don't ruin this for me." Susan looks across at Paul, and then just turns and goes into her house. Zana retreats across the street, clutching his potted flower and looking positively crushed. Wasn't Susan friends with this kid's mother? Didn't she sneak Julie into a crazy hatch to find out if he was okay? Where's the love, Susan? It just doesn't seem like her to be this mean, though maybe she's just in full-throttle mamma-bear mode. And, as I learned this summer at Yellowstone, when bears attack, the only thing you can do is lie down on your stomach and spread your legs.













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