Meanwhile, down at the big stone church, a priest turns to find himself staring straight into the face of guilty, guilty Gabrielle. "Oh sweet mother of god," he says, "what did you do this time." Oh Father, funny art thou! So Gabby's pregnant. "Yes," she says, "and it's impossible, I'm on the pill!" (Gabby, Gabby, Gabby, I shake my head at you and your dumb brain!) "Which I know you probably think is a sin, but it works. It's a 99.9\% effective sin." Gabby is getting some good lines in tonight! "Well, maybe it's in that one tenth of a percent," Father hypothesizes, "that God resides." Gabby whines that God is punishing her. "Have you done something that would warrant being punished?" the Father asks. Gabby looks at him forlornly. After a beat, he supplies his own answer. "The Gardener?" he sighs. "I'd be an awful mother. I'm selfish, and I'm self-centered. The only person more self-centered than me is Carlos. He's so self-centered he doesn't even know how self-centered I am!" Ha! But what does Gabby want the priest to do, to say? "I want to know who to be angry at." Father suggests that maybe she not be angry at all, but rather be thankful! "Children are a gift are they not?" "I don't have time for this crap," Go-go-Gabby! "I have a party to plan."
Edie is still in the middle of her under-construction house. Today, she's wearing a plunging halter top with asymmetrical hem and tight black pants. Lynette wanders over, wearing another one of her unfortunate oversized man-shirts. "So look," she says to Edie, "you're basically a predator, and I need some advice." Edie seems to take that as a compliment. Lynette explains the Annabel situation, and Edie says, "There are two ways to approach this. First, I have to ask: what kind of shape is this woman in?" "Fantastic shape, she's gorgeous," Lynette mutters. "Okay...now there's really only one way to approach this...it's really pretty simple. When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in, I make her my best friend." "I thought you said you didn't have any female friends," Lynette says. "I don't. And I've never been threatened by another woman either." In short, Lynette's takeaway from Edie: keep your friends close and invite your enemies over for dinner. A pathetic, uncomfortable, completely staged dinner, as we discover soon enough.
Back home, Tom is playing with the girl baby, and Lynette announces that they'll be having a (pathetic, uncomfortable, completely staged) dinner party, and she's thinking of inviting Annabel, an announcement that prompts the baby to give a weird, computer-generated blink which leaves me feeling slightly Quiznoseated.