Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

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Evany: A- | 806 USERS: C+
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Fear No More

Cue Annabel, who comes sashaying back in to announce that they have to go back in to work and redo the entire presentation. Tonight! Tom's too drunk to drive, so Annabel offers to take him to the office. (Ah ha! I was wondering where this burst of defiance was coming from! Usually Tom outdoes himself trying to smooth Lynette's feathers, but tonight he's really sticking it to her. What is it they say -- sober man's mind, drunk man's tongue?) "Don't worry, Lynette," Annabel says, halfway out the door, "I'll deliver him back to you just as soon as I can." "Please do," Lynette says in defeat. Holy crazy, that was a good fight!

At Carlos's Prison Kick-off BBQ, music is playing, summer skirts are swishing, balloons are ballooning, and raw meat is smoking away on the grill. Carlos hands over the spatula to Gabby so that he can make his speech to the crowd, and almost immediately, Gabby starts looking a little Gaggy -- though she is looking lovely overall in a strapless coral pink top with a purple sash waistband and a ruffled little turquoise and purple flippy skirt. Meanwhile, Bree is wearing an amazing acid green sheath with retro mini-bow accents, while, uh oh, Edie is wearing plastic-surgery-huge sunglasses, a matronly pink suit with ruffle trim and, I think, nothing but an underwire bra? She looks absolutely hung-over. "I just wanted to say that it really means a lot to me that all of you came," Carlos announces. "And as you know, in a few days I will be taking a government-sponsored vacation. Lucky for me, breakfast is included." As everyone laughs over that little bon mot, Julie whispers an "oh god" to Susan. Zana, the impetus for Julie's "oh god," is wearing a light suit, an olive green shirt, and a lighter green tie. He is, I believe, the only person there in a suit. The look on his face is sour in the extreme, the perfect match to the one worn by his father. "The bottom line," Carlos continues with his toast, "is I'm going away to jail, and when a man goes away to jail -- which I hope none of you here have to do -- you see who your friends are. So thanks." Hear, hear! And with that, Gaggy races off to the bathroom to vomit, snatching on the way a glass and a full bottle of champagne from Susan's mom, who gives a snooty little "Excuse YOU." Nice pale yellow sweater set, Sophie!

Desperate Housewives

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