Desperate Housewives
Fear No More

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Fear No More

Back at the party, Rex spots George and roughly spins him around, asking him just what it is he thinks he's doing. Unfortunately, the act of spinning George transforms George's drink -- a pink, fruity thing -- into a sprinkler, which sprays the front of Rex's polo. George apologizes, but Rex is having none of it. Yelling, yelling. Bree comes up and wonders what's going on, Rex tells her that George crashed the party -- that clearly he's not taking no for an answer. Bree: "It's okay! George? Has a girlfriend." Rex doesn't believe it, but George points out Ginger, and they all turn and catch her with a chip awkwardly stuffed halfway into her mouth. "See?" Bree says with a big smile. "We were worried for nothing." Rex says he's waiting for an apology, and Bree agrees that Rex definitely owes George "some sort of gesture." Rex goes to turn away, but then does a "what the hell" and pushes George into the pool. George grabs Bree on his way down and they both go into the pool. Bree surfaces and yells "Rex! Have you lost your mind?" Ooh, Bree's mascara is totally raccooning! I don't think I, or anyone at that BBQ, has ever seen Bree in that kind of disarray. It's kind of disconcerting. What to do, where to turn when a rose isn't a rose isn't a rose? "To be fair," Rex says, "I only pushed him," Rex says. And...just when the neighborhood couldn't possibly be more titillated, out runs Gabby, her violated birth control in hand. "Carlos, you SON OF A BITCH! I am pregnant," she holds up her pills, "and it's all your fault!" SLAP! The way she worded it, it isn't at all clear that the reason for her fury is the pill-tampering. As far as all the many onlookers are concerned, it could just be his penis she's yelling at. And technically, Gardner John's penis is just as likely to blame for that part of the equation. Gabby runs back into the house, past a very surprised Susan, who appears to be holding a glass full of...popcorn? Carlos stands there, looking stunned for a moment, then gives himself a pleased chortle and takes a swing of his margarita. "Wow," Edie says to Felicia, "This is turning in to one hell of a party." I totally agree. A most excellent barbecue!

Susan runs outside to find Gabby sitting in front of the house. "Are you okay?" Wow, bold black-bra-with-white-top move, Susan. Gabby: "I think I can honestly say, no, I'm not." Susan says she's so sorry, "but you know what they say about kids. You can't imagine having them until you do, and then you can't imagine life without them? It's true." Gabby looks entirely skeptical. All Susan is saying is that maybe this is a blessing in disguise! I really wish Susan asked Gabby about how she was feeling before she launched in with all the "blessing in disguise" sanctimoniousness. It's a small thing -- Susan's not pausing to find out what, exactly, is on Gabby's mind -- but it speaks volumes about Susan's self-involvement. ["Especially since Susan is the only one of the Housewives who knows about Gabby's affair." -- Wing Chun] "I don't know who the father is," Gabby blurts, effectively staunching Susan's pep talk. And then Susan's kitchen, which we see behind them, explodes in a big, impressive fireball. Gabby and Susan scream. "Oh, oh my god," Susan yells. "That's my house!" She runs over, "My kitchen!" A crowd of people come running out from the barbecue, and Susan turns to yell at them, "It's a BIG FIRE!" Thank you, Susan. So sad, and yet also funny.

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Desperate Housewives

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