Everybody stares at the corpse and Teeny or whatever her name is worries that his ghost will be trapped in their house forever, and Tom also is scared by this concept because he is a little bit retarded, and they send all the kids upstairs, including Tom. Mom, of course, is only stressed out because the new will goes into effect at midnight, so they have to wait and just let the corpse hang out on the couch until the morning. Which is by far the dumbest thing in a while, and I'm including Screamin' Meemie's Dolls & Preemies when I say this. Lynette takes a moral stance and then Mom starts in with this bewitchery about "College tuition... Braces..." So Lynette doesn't call the coroner and they all settle in to hang out with JR's dead body all night, because sure.

Turns out that Mike went to see old Zach a while back and he was clearly on drugs and clearly people had taken much advantage of him and now he was poor. Mike admitted that he and Susan were having Alaska-type problems and had to rent out their house, because have you heard, but kind of skirts the issue of how he's only there to get money out of his millionaire biological son. Of course, once Zach heard who was renting the house, he went ballistic because he -- just like everybody else on this show -- hates Paul Young to an irrational degree, and so he threw Mike out the house to do a bunch of drugs and get a plan together to murder Paul Young.

And only because Paul Young literally came to him and said, "Our son shot me with his mother's suicide gun" did Mike put this together, because no matter how many muscles he has, he's still the sort of person that would marry Susan Delfino and thus cannot be trusted to figure shit out. Maybe next Zach will attack him with the knife Mary Alice used to kill Deirdre, and he can fight back with the toaster Paul used to kill Martha, and then they can go after Susan with the measuring cup she used to burn down Edie's house, and this whole show can disappear up its own rectum once again. I'm just glad we're focusing only on episodes of this show I've actually seen, I mean, what better time to start writing about this show than in Season Seven, where we pretend that Torchwood and Katherine and Adriana and Rita Dexter and the Applewhites and Orson's stabby exes and Rex's hot-ass son -- all the things I'm not totally clear on -- never existed.