Desperate Housewives

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
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Lynette comes home and informs Tom that they'll be making 250 mini-pizzas for Bree the next day. Tom's too busy packing up stuff to bring to Kayla the next day, and being kind of a pissy-pants about it in the bargain. Lynette's like, okay, but we've still got 250 mini-pizzas to make. Tom complains about not being asked nicely, which Lynette is predictably unsympathetic about. So I'm sure that'll be the end of it.

Gabby comes home to assign Carlos the job of wrapping party favors, and he's pissed at her for maxing out all their credit cards. Gabby blames him for making her so upset she needs to shop, and he's off to read porn in Braille. So clearly Ellie's absence is making them dysfunctional all over again. Suddenly Ellie calls Gabby (from a dump, apparently) to ask her to meet her and bring a teddy bear that Ellie got from her dad when she was five. A sympathetic Gabby goes and finds it in Ellie's closet, and, hearing a weird rustling coming from inside it, rips open its backseam and gapes inside, openmouthed, as if to say, Doesn't Ellie know this toy was recalled!?

At Scavo's Pizzeria, Bree and Lynette are at a table going over the details for the party with Bob and Lee. When the happy couple starts arguing over the ice sculpture (and Bob gets his way), Bree gets up to talk to Orson, who has just wandered in. He claims he's there to offer his help to Bree. Bree refuses and sends him on his way. At the counter, Tom gives Lee some advice: if he doesn't dig in his heels once in a while, he's going to get pushed around for the next ten and a half years. You know, like Tom is. I have to say, though, Tom's issue isn't that he never stands up for himself -- it's that he's so sucky at it. Lee returns to Bob and lays down the law, and Bob pretends to go along with it. But when Lee wanders off again for some reason, Bob tells Bree and Lynette that he's doing what he wants, and "when [Lee] bitches about it, I'll just buy him some jewelry." "You sure you haven't been married before?" Lynette asks him. Wow, how much jewelry has Lynette bought Tom over the years, anyway?

Carlos has apparently been listening to My Name Is Earl, because he shares with Gabby his new theory that bad things have been happening to them because they're selfish and greedy. "I just found $118,000 in Ellie's teddy bear," Gabby reports from behind a table stacked with cash. "Hey, universe?" Carlos calls out. "Bite me!"

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Desperate Housewives




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