Desperate Housewives

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
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When Lee spots the ice sculpture, which is not what he wanted, he sees "a giant, icy slap in the face. BOB!"

Susan presents Julie with a new cell phone, her way of saying she's okay with Julie doing the internship after all. She admits that she hasn't figured out how she's going to get along without Julie. Which is valid, but Julie assures Susan that her mother is all grown up. Okay, if Julie can actually convince Susan of that, I suddenly have no trouble believing that she wrote an internship-scoring senior thesis.

Bob and Lee come storming out of their house, arguing with each other over the ice sculpture. Lee snaps, "Tom's right! If I don't start standing up for myself, I'm doomed." This is of course of great interest to Tom and Lynette, who overhear. Lee decides that the ceremony's off, and Lynette informs Tom that it's up to them to fix it.

So the two of them sit Bob and Lee down to talk them into going ahead. Well, Lynette tries to get Tom to take back his advice, but Tom refuses: he asks them whether, if they're going to freak out this much over an ice sculpture, if they'll be able to handle big shit like tornadoes and kid problems and cancer. "At some point, the crap is going to hit the fan and that is why now, before you make the commitment, you have to ask yourself, is that person in bed next to you worth the trouble? Do you love him or her so much that no disease, no disaster could possibly pull you apart?" All three of them are moved by Tom's passion, so the commitment ceremony is back on. Lynette pecks Tom on the lips and they get back to work. Wow, she took that a lot better than I would have expected. Some of that stuff he said didn't really seem all that nice.

Adam staggers out of the shed Wayne was holding him in. A passing motorist stops his car and offers to help the bloodied man, and Adam accepts his help, by Grand Theft Autoing him right out of his car. Dude's like a walking cautionary tale about the perils of good Samaritanism.

There's a squad car parked across the street from the Solises' house, which Gabby is glad to see as protection from Ellie. Not that they've reported the found cash, of course. Upstairs, Carlos gets his suit jacket, while Ellie stands motionless in the room behind him. Carlos gives no sign of being aware of her presence, but as soon as he goes downstairs he tells Gabby what's up. Gabby gets away from Carlos to go up and protect the money, but quickly finds herself in a scuffle with Ellie. The two women end up rolling down the stairs on top of Carlos, who calls for the police. Except he calls into the closet, which doesn't seem very likely after he basically used the force to detect Ellie's presence in his bedroom. As the melee continues, Carlos's seeing eye dog, Roxy, bites Ellie on the arm, and Ellie runs off out the back while Gabby rushes to the porch and calls the police in her own self, trying to hide the giant duffle bag of cash behind her back. Okay, that teddy bear was a lot smaller than that bag. Is there more cash now? What kind of interest is she earning on that, anyway?

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Desperate Housewives




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