Five years later. Seriously, that's what it says on the screen.
It's card night again, as we join Bree, Lynette, Susan, Gabby, and Katherine. Mary Alice talks about the importance of enduring friendships, and after the card game breaks up a frumpy Gabby goes upstairs to announce that she's ready to make someone dinner. That "someone" is a young girl who calls her "mommy" and appears to have a twin, and they've both gotten into some mischief. Carlos is nowhere in sight, if you'll pardon the expression. Bree gets home looking like an extra from Interview with the Vampire, and there's a suited Andrew running her media empire and Orson waiting upstairs to take a bubble bath with her. Lynette finds Tom at home with a cop, and thinks Porter got arrested for joyriding again, but this time it was Preston. And Katherine listens to a message from Dylan telling her about a marriage proposal she received. Finally, Susan gets home and kisses her husband -- who is not Mike.
So I guess we can add this fast-forward, everything-changes season finale to the list of things Desperate Housewives has in common with Battlestar Galactica. Of course, that list has only one item on it, so it's easy to keep track of. End of line!
Miss the first half of tonight's two-part season finale? To read the first half, click here!
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.