And if you were thinking of getting up to wash the bad taste of that scene out of your mouth, eyes, and brain, don't go just yet -- we've got some more unpleasantness warmed up on deck! So Mayor McBusive is lying in bed, sorting through some papers, when Gabby pays him a surprise visit; it's the eve of their wedding, so they're supposedly sleeping apart tonight. She's wearing a cute turquoise raincoat, which she tears open to reveal a shortie orange-and-pink nightgown (cute, but it was much hotter when Bree did it). Gabby pouts and baby-talks that she's "horny," which is one of my all-time least favorite words, right up there with "poop" and "panties." (You may be tempted to use them in a sentence -- and wow, what a sentence that would be -- but you wouldn't be able to enjoy the triumph of it for very long, as you'd soon find yourself choking on my knuckle sandwich, served with extra-spicy mustard and a big glass of Hawaiian Punch.) So Gabby hops onto the bed and picks up one of the papers that the Mayor's been looking over and notes that it's "polling data," which, see, I don't buy -- if she were really as "---ny" as she claimed to be, she would have just swept all that stuff onto the ground all in a heated rush. But then we wouldn't have the following ugly scene where she accuses him of going forward with his bid for governor, and things quickly descend into a screaming match. Gabby: "I already married a man who put his career before me, and I swore I wasn't going to do it again." Mayor: "Well, I swore that I wouldn't let a stupid woman hold me back." He immediately regrets it, and tries to pretend that it's just all the "pressure" talking. Gabby: "Well here's one less thing you have to worry about: our wedding." And before you get going with the "you go, girl"ing, don't bother...because you only get the length of one commercial break to celebrate.
Great news: Christina Applegate is in a new "comedy" about amnesia, "and that's a problem" as the saucy announcer tells us, "because she can't remember the name of the show!" Yeah, it's called Sam I Am, and I can already see the headlines now: "Audiences Forget To Tune In To Sam I Am!" and "So Funny, I Forgot To Laugh!"
What's the old saying? "So-and-so's so [word that means in the mood for sexual congress], the crack of dawn better watch its ass?" Well B.J. McBusive shows up at Gabby's door even earlier than that to spin her a web of lies about how A) he's there without the Mayor's knowledge; B) the Mayor was only considering running for Governor as a way to win the approval of withholding Father B.J.; and C) Father B.J. is here to tell Gabby that last night, Mayor McBusive told B.J. to shove all his millions of family dollars and also the race for gubernatorial glory. Gabby softens at the news that the Mayor "blew off eighty million" for her, and when the Mayor arrives five seconds later (B.J. to Gabby: "Is there a back way out of here?"), she relents and gives her back-on-again fiancé a big conciliatory hug right out on the front porch. B.J., who watches the whole scene unfold from the comfort of his gigantic stretch limo, which the Mayor magically fails to spot, smiles a revolting crocodile smile. Did you know that B. and J. don't stand for anything? B.J. is his full name, in honor of his mother, Bea Hunnicutt, and his father, Jay Hunnicutt. It's a M*A*S*H fact!