Russell leaves, and Edie and Carlos mourn the demise of their status as secret lovers: Russell is almost surely on the phone already, "speed-dialing" everyone in town to report the news about Edie, the Full Service agent. Edie is pretty nonchalant about it, though, not really caring if anyone finds out about that they're spreading their CSI fluids all over town. But Carlos is totally bent out of shape: "If Gabby finds out, she's going to hit the ceiling!" Edie can't imagine that Gabby would care too much, since she's with Maybe Mayor. And if she really thinks that, she knows nothing about women: for some ladies, sexing an ex is almost as bad as sexing the current, and Gabby has all the marks of just such a lady -- namely, the desire to have men worshipping her hand-in-hand with never, ever wanting them to get over her. Carlos dismissively dismisses Gabby's Maybe Mayor affair as a flash in the pan, and it suddenly occurs to Edie -- and Nicollette Sheridan handles the transformation of the realization really nicely -- that Carlos is still not over Gabby. He staunchly denies it; he just doesn't want to screw up his new friendship with Gabby, and I'm actually inclined to believe him. But Edie isn't biting: "I don't know who the bigger moron is, you or me." Isn't it possible that they're both equally moronic? Though really I don't have enough invested in this thing they have going to have much of an opinion on the matter.
Meanwhile, the trouble date is just about to begin. Ian answers the door and awkwardly thanks Mike for coming, and Mike leans in and gives him a hearty "you're welcome" hug. Wait a second...is Mike...being...funny? Susan walks into the room, and she's wearing a sweet little Grecian-esque dress made out of a remarkably pretty fabric -- layered patches of turquoise and rust and light blue -- along with a long delicate necklace with a smattering of bright orange bead-things...add THAT to shopping cart! Mike unleashes his overenthusiastic hug on Susan. Where did he get that disconcerting embrace? Montgomery Awkward? Mike, who seems to be really having fun making himself uncomfortable, gets thrown just a bit when Roz walks in. And now it's Susan turn to have a little fun. She introduces Roz, and Mike shoots Susan A Look, which Susan answers by cocking her eyebrow ever so slightly. See, James Denton? That's how you do the meaningful eyebrow raise. You don't have to Spock it up; a little eyebrow really does go a long way. It isn't long, though, before Mike finds a way to foil Susan's romantic bait-and-switch: when talk turns to favorite cuisines, he deliberately brings up the state of prison food, which he knows something about, you see. Due to his time in the big house? Make that timeS, as in multiple prison stays? Roz/Peri's reaction -- confused, startled, yet still hopeful -- is just fantastigreat here. Mike then goes on to describe, with hilarious relish, the story of a previous cellmate, "Stilts," who was caught with a "bowl-full of ears" upon his arrest. Ears. And yet they call him...Stilts. That is so weird and great. Susan aims a brutal kick at Mike under the table, but it's Roz's shin that gets the message. This just isn't Roz's night, is it?