Meanwhile, at the hall of justice, Gabby is looking at a police sketch that is a dead ringer for Carlos. "They're charging you for a hate crime?" she asks, incredulous. Carlos asks her if she remembers how their cable guy was attacked. Gabby -- wearing a silver leather space blazer which I kind of like but which is maybe an odd choice for visiting someone in jail -- nods that, yes, she remembers. Well, Carlos confesses, that was him. Gabby sits there, staring. Carlos: "I thought you were cheating with him!" Gabby: "With our gay cable guy?" But Carlos didn't know the guy was gay! He didn't know Justin was either! That Carlos, he really does let his fists do the thinking. Carlos: "Now the cops think I'm some kind of serial gay basher." Gabby: "Well, you sort of are." Ha! Carlos yells that Gabby provoked him: "You pretended to have an affair just to punish me." Gabby -- clearly amazed by the windfall of that "pretended" -- stutters that, well, of course, yes, pretending! She was only pretending! Carlos tells Gabby that he needs her to lie again -- tell the cops that she was, indeed, having an affair, but that Carlos just beat up the wrong guy(s). Oh sweet irony! But you know something, Gabby is not going to lie for Carlos! Carlos: "Gabby, if this charge sticks, I get sent away for eight years." Gabby, not at all impressed, counters with the fact that, thanks to his little stunt with her birth-control pills, she's lost her freedom for the next eighteen years. And she walks on out of there. Wow, a silver space blazer, black micro-mini, and patchwork stack-heeled boots. Gabby is looking kind of nuts.

And back to Susan. "Okay, next time I won't bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend. It was a slight error in judgment." But Julie isn't listening to Susan's way, way, way overdue apology, she's reading the diary instead. Julie: "Did you say you read this?" Susan: "Yeah, part of it, why?" Julie: "Mrs. Huber was blackmailing Zach's mom." Hmmmmmmm.

Meanwhile, over at the late-night baseball-diamond rendezvous, CreePaul is standing there, sighing and checking his watch, when suddenly out of the dark Mike comes flying, taking a page from Carlos's "fist-forward" playbook and dropping CreePaul with one punch.