The law may have let Mrs. McCluskey off the hook (after fining her for nothing more than the improper disposal of a body), but the whispering Wisterians aren't ready to move on yet, and gossip reaches a fevered pitch. Loyalty-free Lynette hires a new babysitter, and Parker, who misses Mrs. McC, convinces her to come clean with her story. And it's basically as we all suspected: she was keeping her husband on ice so that she could continue getting his pension checks, which otherwise would have gone to Gilbert's long-long-ago-ex wife. (He somehow failed to find the time in the 30+ years he was married to Mrs. McC to alter his pension paperwork in her favor.) Lynette has been coming home later and later from the Scavoria and spending more and more time with Tootie after hours, sampling his raviolis and so on. Kayla puts two and two together and devilishly passes her observations along to Tom. Tom tests Kayla's theory by announcing that he's coming back to work at the restaurant, and hey, good news: now they can let Tootie go! When Lynette does some serious tapdancing about the necessity of keeping Tootie on staff, Tom does some serious staring off into the mid-distance with a knowing, flinty glitter in his eye. Edie tells Gabby about her Carlos fling, somehow thinking that Gabby will be thrilled by the news simply because she herself has found love elsewhere. And yet...no. Gabby, not satisfied with simply hating Edie on her own, forces Lynette and Susan to give Edie the cold shoulder in solidarity. Edie strikes back by having Lynette cater Travers's birthday party, and having Susan come to sign a bunch of her books for the kids. When Gabby oh-so-inevitably catches Lynette and Susan at the party (after they first try hinding out in the party entertainer's snake-and-spider van, with creepy-crawly results), she pitches a big festivities-derailing fit. Carlos -- not wanting Travers's party to be ruined -- bodily removes Gabby from the premises. They have a little heart-to-heart (Carlos's being big, soft, and squishy and Gabby's black and hardened), and it comes out that Carlos doesn't see himself getting serious about Edie. Gabby's anger instantly evaporates, so pleased is she to learn that Carlos still safely belongs to her, even though she's totally moved on. Poor Carlos! Susan is still steaming mad at low-down dirty poker-playing dogs Ian and Mike. When she takes out her mad on some random guy over a parking spot, the police get involved, and Susan's instructed by the court to get some anger-management therapy. The puffy feather-haired therapist works her brain magic, and within one session, Susan realizes that she wants to be with Ian. Ian is ecstatic. Mike is slightly less so, and he leaves a sad, sad message on Susan's machine telling her so. When Ian catches Susan listening to the message not once, but twice, he realizes that she'll always be a little in love with Mike, and that Ian deserves more than that. So he up and moves to England. Just like that! Meanwhile, it appears that Mike has also packed up his broken ticker and hit the road. Destination? Unknown!