Lynette and Tootie are juuuust about ready to leave on their big date, a.k.a. the "competitive research analysis," and Lynette's hair is down, just like Tootie likes it, and she's wearing a really cute little top that shows off her arms, and we even catch her putting on a little perfume. But just then, Tom rolls in with all the kids -- he's taken a bunch of extra pain pills and put all the kids in a cab, just to surprise her. And even though Tom's been so awful as of late, I instantly feel sorry for the guy. Especially when Lynette lies about how her perfumey smell is just the "basil" which has a "sweet smell." Dude, why not just lie that you had to cover up the sweaty stench of restaurant with a strong perfume? That lie is worrisome. Though not as worrisome as the fact that she actually purchased a new perfume for this date. Lynette sneaks back to tell Tootie that their date is off, and he readily volunteers to cook for the family, which is nice, and also makes me wonder if he's nearly as crushed out on her as she is on him? Maybe she's just one of the few people he can talk to, now that he's sober? And maybe he's just one of those confusing men who say stuff like "you look beautiful with your hair down," but don't actually want to throw you down on a table and put ants in your picnic basket? Whatever his actual motivation, though, Kayla spies a suspicious-seeming moment between Lynette and Tootie: when he offers to stay at the restaurant and cook, she pats his chest and sort of rubs it, which is...pretty intimate. Kayla's eyes narrow evilly. And then later...

...when she's tucking her dad into his hospital bed, she "casually" mentions, without the slightest attempt at sugar-coating the news, that she thinks Lynette "likes" Tootie. Like, LIKE-likes. Tom looks stunned, and Kayla smiles hugely. Bleh, she's so monstrous, it's actually getting hard to watch.