Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

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Evany: A- | 682 USERS: B-
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Edie "She Puts the Ex in Sex" Britt. Wearing an insanely patriotic red, white, and blue dress that's so form-fitting that it looks like a bathing suit, but a bathing suit with a long, knee-length skirt, she peers out her front curtains at Lynette, who's getting into her car across the street. In a scene lifted directly from Veronica Mars, Edie suspects that Lynette's been avoiding her calls, and she confirms it by dialing Lynette on her cell and watching as Lynette screens her straight to voicemail. Since when did Edie and Lynette's friendship escalate to just-calling-to-chat levels, anyway? Edie rants, she raves, but Carlos tells her to relax: Lynette's probably just "busy" or whatevs. Carlos, the by way, is fully dressed and lounging on Edie's couch and reading the paper, so I guess they've graduated past the "sex every second of the day" stage of the relationship and are now onto "established couple" activities like hanging out and reading the paper? Though why Edie's selected a crazy Lycra dress for Couple's Casual Day I can't really figure. Edie seethes that Lynette's cold-shouldering has Gabby's frosty prints all over it, and Carlos tsks Edie for telling Gabby about their affair in the first place. But Edie is fighting mad now, and she stomps outside to deal with the Lynette problem.

Lynette, spying Miss American Edie stomping her way over, sets her face in a funny robot clench that's supposed to read like she can't see Edie, no, not at all. Does not compute, etc.! But Edie totally has Lynette's ticket, and she delivers a blow to the one spot Lynette's incapable of ignoring: Her Money Maker. As Edie so-sweetly informs her, it's Travers's birthday this weekend and hey, maybe the Scavoria would like to cater? There'll be a lot of pizza-partying kids there -- kids who'll almost surely want to hire the Scavoria for their own birthdays, too...? And just like that, Lynette caves.

And down at court-ordered anger-management therapy, a Fraggle-haired therapist is chastising Susan for threatening to "decapitate a man over a parking space." Susan "Denial Isn't Just A River In Egypt" Mayer claims to be fine, totally fine, nothing wrong, nothing to see here! And then the Fragglrapist casually asks after the state of Susan's love life, and she semi-hilariously busts into tears. I'm usually very hard on Teri Hatcher (because she usually bugs like the seminal Bunny of WB fame), but I must confess that she's actually kind of funnying it up in this episode. I know: so weird.

Desperate Housewives

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