Susan stomps home in a rage and runs into Lynette, who is still totally in full-on freakout mode. She promptly dumps all four kids on Susan, gets in her car, and drives off. "Lynette, when are you coming back?"Susan calls after her. "Lynette? Lynette?"

Lynette sits in the park, fingering her Ritalin. Susan and KimberBree drive up, expositioning that they've left the kids with Danielle. Now she's going to want to join the Abstinence Club, for reals. They pile out of the car and find Lynette, sleeping against a goal post.

Wilshire Memorial. The priest comes into Mama Solis's room and Gabrielle acts gracious, but guilty. Eventually, she puts down her Soap Opera Digest -- hee! -- to berate him about the secrecy of the confessional. He assures her that it's for real: "Everyone's secrets are safe." Gabrielle looks doubtful. "I'll keep yours too if you want to talk," he offers. She says that's really not "her thing." The priest thinks this is a "shame." Gabrielle snaps at him to "stop condemning [her] with [his] eyes. Right now!" He says nothing. She tells him that she knows he knows, but he can't really know, you know? Anyway, they're not doing it anymore. The priest reminds Gabrielle that she's still going to suffer the eternal torments of hellfire for all eternity. He says it a little more nicely. He reminds her that Mortal Sin - Repentance = Hell. How does Gabrielle not know this? I feel like she and Carlos must have been married in a Catholic ceremony, since Mama Solis apparently ran the whole wedding, so Gabrielle is either Catholic or took those classes they make you take to marry a Catholic, the name of which escapes me right now, so she ought to know this either way. ["Engaged Encounter, which my parents used to teach until my mother decided that she couldn't, in good conscience, tell people that the Rhythm Method is an effective form of contraception." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, the priest explains that Confession clears the slate so you can go to heaven. The priest and I simultaneously add that Gabrielle must be truly sorry and also promise never to do it again for the slate-cleaning bits to work. Gabrielle wonders if it still counts if she waits until she's seventy to repent. The priest is clearly weary of her childishness and tells her we are all responsible for the choices we make: "Don't you want to be a good person?" "What I want is to be happy," she tells him, sadly. "That's the answer of a selfish child," he tells her. "I know," she says, and leaves. Whatever. Wake me up when we have the scene where Gabrielle is literally experiencing the eternal torments of the underworld.