Casa Estupido. Susan is telling Julie about Mike's stash of money and guns. And how she's just realized that she barely knows him: "He could be a hit man for the mob." This prompts Julie to ask the obvious: "If you really think that, why are you going on a trip with him?" Susan shrugs: "I never get out of the house." Fine line. Well delivered. TERRIBLE EXAMPLE FOR THE CHILDREN. Won't someone think of them? Anyway, Julie says that if Susan really wants something to freak out about, she should freak out about how Mike's going to be the first guy to see her naked in years! Man, this relationship is f'ed up. First of all, Susan is setting a really bad example. We have all had moments where we think, "This is a bad idea, but I'm doing it anyway," but it's best when "that" is not "fucking a crazy man in a hotel in the middle of nowhere and not telling your daughter what a BAD IDEA THAT IS." Second, Julie seems to be developing an unhealthy fixation on her mother's sex life that will, I predict, eventually make some therapist very rich. Susan agrees that that is nervewracking to get naked in front of anyone, and then shares that going to a hotel with a man is a big deal to her. Especially, I would imagine, ON THE FIRST DATE. Wow, who knew I was such a Charlotte York? Oh, fine: everyone. There's a honk outside: it's Karl, come to pick up Julie. She turns to go and tells Susan to stop freaking out. Julie needs this weekend to go well, she says: "I'm going to have a husband of my own someday, and I really don't want you living with us." You're not going to have a husband of your own if you act anything like your short-sighted nutball mother.
Casa Unfaithful. The Van de Kamps are paying a guilt-induced visit to the Solises. Rex politely -- and self-servingly -- wonders if the police have any leads. Everyone exchanges looks. Gabrielle explains that they can determine the make and model of the car, but that without eyewitnesses, no one is very optimistic. And how is Mama Solis? KimberBree wonders. She is still going on down to Comaville. Danielle pipes up that they've added Mama Solis to their prayer list. "It must really help, during times like these," groans Carlos. "Having kids." "Yeah, they're a blessing," Rex says dryly, and chomps down on a ladyfinger. Heh. Carlos waxes poetic about how kids make everything worthwhile, and so forth, since they are the future and whatnot, concluding by telling Andrew and Danielle, "After we're all dead, you'll be the ones left to carry on." And then he announces that he and Gabrielle are about to start their own family. Gabrielle looks as though this is news to her. KimberBree looks equally surprised, and wonders when they decided it. "It's a fairly...recent development," Gabrielle explains tightly. There are Significant Looks being thrown all over town, until Carlos bursts out with "Face it. We're shallow people. Can our lives have any meaning if all we do is buy stuff?" Gabrielle predictably retorts that it all depends on what they're buying. Well, Carlos wants to buy a baby! Gabrielle reminds him that they agreed not to have kids when they got married. They made a deal! "Well, deals were meant to be renegotiated," he tells her. The Van de Kamps all look way uncomfortable. "Well, we're not negotiating my uterus," Gabrielle announces. KimberBree: "We should probably be going."