Desperate Housewives
Guilty

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Jessica: C | Grade It Now!
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Guilty

Later, the Fumbling Foursome clean up the street after the accident. Literally. They're sweeping up glass and scrubbing away skid marks, and while that is a nice bit of continuity with the story of KimberBree washing her dead mother's blood off the streets, I am pretty sure the police frown upon the neighbors fiddling the crime scene. Plus, should they be out in the streets like that? Clearly, it's not all that safe. Anyway, in this episode's expositionpaloza, we learn that Mama Solis is in that favorite of the soap-opera conditions: the coma. If she doesn't have amnesia when she wakes up, I quit. We also learn that Carlos is sad, sad, sad that his mother is all in a vegetative state and whatnot. As they scrub, a car speeds around them. "Slow down, you jerk! This is a residential neighborhood," Lynette screams, tossing a sponge after the car. Where are her children? I ask only because the rest of this episode makes such a yooooooge deal about how overwhelmed she is. So where are they? All the girls are here. I can believe that the three older boys are in school, but if they're in school, so are Andrew and Danielle and Julie, so the older kids can't be watching the baby. Is the baby with a babysitter? And if so, why doesn't Lynette use said babysitter more often? If they're going to make a big-ass deal about how overwhelmed Lynette is with her kids, then the kids ought to be in every damn scene. Lynette then starts yammering that she has four kids -- I don't know if you've heard, but apparently Lynette has several children, and I guess they're kind of tough? I don't know. This is the first I've heard of it -- and she was up all night reading stats about how most traffic accidents happen on residential streets. She hopes that whomever hit Mama Solis gets "put away for life." KimberBree tightly wonders if that might be a little bit extreme.

Come on down to Comaville! Carlos holds his mother's hand and looks sad. Gabrielle does her nails. She tells Carlos he should go home and eat something, and rest and answer his messages. "I need to be here if she wakes up," Carlos says. Gabrielle examines her nails and offers to stay. "What if she dies?" Carlos wonders, pointing out that people fall into comas and stay in them all the damn time. "Don't say that! You need to stay positive," Gabrielle says, biting a cuticle. Enter Miguel, with a rose and looking mega-guilty. Dude, Miguel. Sweetie, you can do better than Gabrielle. Miguel gives Carlos a very heartfelt apology, and they hug. For like a really long time. Gabrielle looks alarmed. Please God, let Carlos and Miguel have an affair. Please God, let Carlos and Miguel have an affair. Carlos announces that he's going down to the chapel to pray. Gabrielle doesn't want to go, so she offers to "stay with mama." Miguel asks if he can come. "Of course," Carlos says. "We need all the prayers we can get." The men head off to pray. They just miss a nurse, who comes in to give Mama Solis her sponge bath...unless Gabrielle would like to do it herself? Gabrielle will pass.

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Desperate Housewives

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