Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Burnin' Love

We open with Lynette obliquely grilling Tom about the fire at Rick's, because she kind of thinks he did it, even though she claims she just wants him to have an alibi. Or at least something a little more watertight than his claim that he was sitting out in the car listening to the basketball game by himself, during the conveniently synchronized period that he was absent from the Founders' Ball last week. As far as I'm concerned, the fact that the show is working this hard to make us think it was Tom is all the alibi I need. As Tom gets a wonky stove burner lit using a symbolic match, he assures her that he's innocent, failing to give any of the obvious tells Mary Alice was helpfully listing off for us a moment ago. And Mary Alice says that Lynette's trust in Tom is about to go up in flames. Subtle. Also, inaccurate. But we'll get to that later.

Mary Alice uses a soliloquy about rule-breaking to segue into a scene in which Dylan is pulled over by a police officer. Since we already know from last week that Dylan's got a stalker, this would ping our radar even if the cop weren't played by Gary "Bill Lumbergh" Cole, which he very much is. So I'm just...gonna go ahead and...assume this isn't on the up-and-up. Great, thanks. After getting a good look at her license, complete with name and address, he "lets her off with a warning." And then he gets back in the car with the same newspaper photo of Dylan we saw being circled in marker last week, because we are idiots who have to have everything spelled out for us, preferably in red felt-tip pen.

Bree is packing up to move out of Susan's house, much to Susan's misery. Susan blames her emotional reaction on her hormones, and Bree gives Susan advice for dealing with feelings like this: put them in an imaginary box, put the box in an imaginary closet, and deal with it later, "in private, like a lady." Susan agrees to give that a try, and Bree is nearly out of there before the tears start again. Nearly.

Carlos comes home with a couple of new characters: one is his new seeing-eye dog, Roxy, and the other is the dog's trainer, Steve, played by Archie Kao from CSI. The fact that Gabby doesn't throw herself on Steve immediately suggests that Carlos isn't the only blind one. Anyway, Gabby wants to hear about how Roxy can basically take over all the annoying stuff Gabby has to do for Carlos, and when she hears that isn't really in Roxy's job description, she's pissed. "Carlos gets a new best friend and I get to check the sofa for ticks," she bitches. "Yay for Gabby!" So, Gabby: not a dog person.

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Desperate Housewives




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