Desperate Housewives

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Burnin' Love

Mike's back home from rehab, and Susan and Julie are making his favorite meal, steak and mashed potatoes. Mike corrects her that his favorite is actually au gratin. This sends Susan into a predictable hormonal meltdown, and as she goes off to deal with her box and her closet, Julie takes the opportunity to tell Mike about Orson's somnambulistic confession to his attempted vehicular homicide of Mike. The two of them agree that it's crazy, since Orson didn't even know Mike back then, but when Julie goes off to check on her mom, Mike is clearly not done thinking about this.

While Bree is unpacking boxes, Katherine comes over to say that the Founders' Ball went off so well that they got a job offer out of it, and Katherine thinks they should go for it, and even start a business together. Bree passes, citing the fact that she's too busy with her invisible fake baby and also that she tried to poison Katherine over their last collaboration. But when Katherine threatens to do it herself -- and take the credit for everything -- Bree's in.

Carlos wants to give Roxy a dog treat. Gabby resists, until Roxy growls at her. Apparently Carlos is deaf as well, because Roxy still gets the treat. The discussion gets a bit tense as it turns to their finances, and Roxy clearly takes Carlos's side every time Gabby raises her voice. Wow, two against one. That's...almost even, actually.

Mike goes over to Orson's house to confront him: "Are you the guy that ran me over?" he asks. Orson clearly thinks about lying, but instead he breaks down, crying and apologizing. Did I mention that Mike is holding Orson's hammer?

Gabby is ready for bed, except Roxy's already there, and Carlos isn't kicking the dog off. In fact, when Gabby tells him to choose, he picks the dog. I refuse to make a "bitch" joke here. You can come up with your own, if you like, or just wait for Mary Alice's.

Susan also comes to bed, disappointed that Mike doesn't appear to be in the mood for love. She thinks it's all about her, but Mike says it's about something he found out. Of course he's going to share it with her, since he's just out of rehab and all. "But before I tell you," he says, "you have to promise to let me handle this my own way."

Cut to Susan bursting into Bree's house, storming at a pajama-clad Orson to stay away from her family. Mike catches up to her -- the pregnant lady who had time to throw a robe on -- saying he wanted to handle this. Bree is obviously shocked to hear the news that Orson flattened Mike through Susan's accusations. "All this time, you pretended to be our friend" is Susan's parting shot to Orson as she and Mike leave Bree staring at Orson. Now, obviously Bree is used to discovering the man she's with is a violent criminal, but it doesn't usually take this long.

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Desperate Housewives




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