Ugh: short-short title sequence. Go get yourself some beef jerky and a canteen because it's going to be a long night.
According to MAVO, every family has its little secrets. Some families cover wall stains with artwork; some families shut their "chaos" inside closets. And some families (we pan past a mom-son-son photo of the Applewrongs) hide their secrets behind forced smiles: "Every family goes to great lengths to hide ugly truths." Really? Much as every family has access to industrial-sized bottles of Phenobarbital? MAVO: "Some, of course, go further than others." Betty takes a pint of ice cream out of the freezer, scoops it out into a mixing bowl, and pours in a healthy splash of Phenobarbital. Matthew asks if they're going to do "this" (meaning putting Caleb to sleep) right now? No, the ice cream is for the big picnic that Caleb and Betty are going on tomorrow up at Rockwater Lake. Ooh, is that the same lake in which CreePaul plunked Deirdre's remains and Edie sprinkled Mrs. Huber's ashes? Oh, it isn't; that was Torch Lake. Heads-up, people who still care about the mystery of Fairview's geographical location: the town apparently features multiple lakes, full of human remains. Betty is preparing all Caleb's favorite foods for tomorrow's picnic. Matthew rather creepily asks if Betty's "just going to leave him lying there" after the deed is done. No, the plan is that Betty's going to "call 911 anonymously," then retreat to some vantage point and watch to make sure that someone comes for Caleb's body. At the start of her description of the game plan, she was all business, but by the end of it, she's in tears. (Alfre Woodard, will you be my best friend? And then we can both wear skirts tomorrow!) Matthew rather lamely tries to convince Betty that Calebocide isn't really necessary, but Betty declares that she isn't going to allow Caleb to hurt anyone else, nor will she let him go to a place where people will "mock and abuse him." I'm wasn't aware that mental facilities still used the "mock and abuse" method.