Down at Homeland Security, an official tie guy is explaining to Gabby and Carlos that Money has missed all her "appeal deadlines." Tie Guy explains that the only way she can stay is if she's married to a U.S. citizen, or had a child with one. Gabby, her "idea face" starting to churn: "What if she was pregnant with an American citizen?" Carlos and Gabby exchange a look, and the "every world problem solved with the artificial impregnation of the Chinese maid!" music swells.
Back at home, maid Money is folding towels. Gabby and Carlos burst in and give her the good news: she can stay! Except..."there's just one little thing." Money listens eagerly. After lots of preamble about how they went into this thing "behind the eight ball," and how they "fought tooth and nail," Gabby finally cuts to the chase: Money has to have the Solises' baby. Money is supremely confused, so Gabby slowly explains how the situation is win-win for everyone, and then she flashes a huge thumbs-up sign. Money, with furrowed brow: "Surr-ohhh-geet?" Gabby resorts to some weird analogy about how they're all making Money's "famous Szechuan dumplings," and Gabby is the "dough," and Carlos is the "pork" (which is now my awesome new slang substitute for "the bomb," as in, "My new All-Clad fry pan is the pork!"), and Money is the "oven." Money, starting to panic: "I have baby?!" Carlos rushes to tell her that the Solises will pay for everything: the medical bills, new clothes, Lamaze classes. "And of course," he adds, "you won't have to do any housework." Gabby, jumping in: "Maybe just a little light dusting...nothing major." Money gives them a frightened baby deer of a look, then screams, "No to baby!" and runs upstairs to her room. I think that went really well, don't you? Carlos sighs hugely, then tells Gabby, "You had to push the dusting, didn't you?"