Desperate Housewives
I Know Things Now

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I Know Things Now

At home, Lynette unfoils a huge casserole dish of macaroni and cheese, cheese, cheese. Tom is suspicious: Lynette never lets him eat fattening food like that. Lynette coos that, what with his hard work and many business trips, he deserves to throw "caution and cholesterol to the wind." Somehow, I find the idea of Lynette being a mean gatekeeper between Tom and macaroni and cheese pretty depressing and maybe unhealthy, marriage-wise. Lynette kisses him warmly on the head, and Tom looks even more suspicious. Tom, panicked: "Oh no, you're pregnant!" Ha. Lynette: "God, your mind goes to dark places." Ha! No, the real reason Lynette is being so nice is because she's softening Tom up for the bad news that Ed's gunning to fire him. Tom is furious to discover that he is "expendable." Lynette admits that it's "ridiculous," but since "a whipped husband is someone [she and Tom] must take seriously," she asks him to try to keep his nose clean and avoid giving Ed anything that remotely resembles "just cause" until things blow over -- you know, come in on time, put his all into his pitches, skip the "three-martini lunches," that sort of thing. Tom pouts about being "victimized." Lynette: "Well, honey, in all fairness, those are all things you should be doing anyway." "Fine!" Tom crabs. Then he grabs the bottle of wine and his cheesy pile of pasta and stomps away from the kitchen.

Bree and the kids are busy getting down to their own dinner. Bree brightly says that Hempy is going to come over for dinner the following evening, and would Andrew maybe like to invite Justin to come, too? Danielle wants to bring Matthew, but Bree puts her foot down. Danielle: "Let me get this straight: you can date a lush, and he can bring over his gay lover, but god forbid I date a hot black guy?" Whee! No, it's just that Bree doesn't want Danielle near the Applewrongs until Caleb gets sent away. Andrew: "His brother tried to rape you; his mother keeps a guy locked up in a basement. I mean, let's face it, Danielle: even you could do better." Ha! Danielle stares at Andrew suspiciously and asks him what is the deal with him taking Bree's side all of a sudden? Bree explains that she and Andrew have come to an understanding. Danielle: "Really? even after she screwed you out of your trust fund?" Wait, did Andrew ever actually discover that Bree was directly to blame for getting his trust fund yoinked? Bree: "Well, he did falsely accuse me of child abuse." She smiles a syrupy smile. "I would say we're even, wouldn't you?" Andrew somewhat nicely agrees that they are. When Bree heads back into the kitchen, Danielle hisses at Andrew that he can drop the act: she knows his hatred for Bree still burns bright. With over-sincerity, Andrew tells Danielle that he and Bree are "in a good place right now." Danielle looks at him like she smells something rank.

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Desperate Housewives

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