Back at home, maid Money is folding towels. Gabby and Carlos burst in and give her the good news: she can stay! Except..."there's just one little thing." Money listens eagerly. After lots of preamble about how they went into this thing "behind the eight ball," and how they "fought tooth and nail," Gabby finally cuts to the chase: Money has to have the Solises' baby. Money is supremely confused, so Gabby slowly explains how the situation is win-win for everyone, and then she flashes a huge thumbs-up sign. Money, with furrowed brow: "Surr-ohhh-geet?" Gabby resorts to some weird analogy about how they're all making Money's "famous Szechuan dumplings," and Gabby is the "dough," and Carlos is the "pork" (which is now my awesome new slang substitute for "the bomb," as in, "My new All-Clad fry pan is the pork!"), and Money is the "oven." Money, starting to panic: "I have baby?!" Carlos rushes to tell her that the Solises will pay for everything: the medical bills, new clothes, Lamaze classes. "And of course," he adds, "you won't have to do any housework." Gabby, jumping in: "Maybe just a little light dusting...nothing major." Money gives them a frightened baby deer of a look, then screams, "No to baby!" and runs upstairs to her room. I think that went really well, don't you? Carlos sighs hugely, then tells Gabby, "You had to push the dusting, didn't you?"
Bree is making bruschetta toasts while talking to Hempy on the phone: she wants him to avoid any mention of his sex addiction during dinner with the kids. (Hey! Bree has the same IKEA filing boxes I just bought for my new apartment! That's a good sign, right? About how Bree and I are twins?) Hempy is willing to keep things on the low down, but he is reluctant to out-and-out lie to Danielle and Andrew. Just then, Andrew comes home, and Bree starts fake-talking -- "Yeah! Uh huh. Good point!" -- and it's super-obvious that she's trying to avoid saying something in front of Andrew. He heads upstairs, and Bree whispers into the phone that it's okay if Hempy talks about the AA half of his struggles with addiction, since both her kids know that's the way they met, but that she wants him to avoid talk of the "other thing," so that the kids can "focus on [Hempy's] good qualities" while they're all still in the getting-to-know-you phase: "I just don't know how they'll react if they find out that you're a sex addict." Upstairs, Andrew -- who is, of course, listening in on another extension -- smiles knowingly.