Desperate Housewives
I Wish I Could Forget You

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I Wish I Could Forget You

George grinds his mouth on Bree's face for a few seconds more, until she sits up, clutching the back of her neck, and says she feels "something weird." George: "That was my tongue. It extends farther than most. I should have warned you." Ha! Also, I'm trying to imagine how such a warning might unfold. Like, over the duck, George oh-so-casually says, "By the way, Bree, I have an enormously probing Gene Simmons-like tongue. Just, you know...heads up!" Or maybe he should have had a bumper sticker made. Anyway, Bree doesn't think the problem is George's giraffe tongue; rather, it's something disturbing actually on her neck. George looks concerned for one nanosecond, and then dives back on top of her. After a few more seconds of this, she starts violently scratching at her neck, and George finally backs off, commenting that she appears to have a "huge rash." And she really, really does. Do you remember that episode on the original Star Trek, when that alien sucked the essential salts out of people's bodies using its sucker-covered "hands"? Well, Bree's rash looks very much like those salt-sucker wounds. In short: this isn't the foxiest we've ever seen Bree look. But at least her hair's finally down! George wonders if maybe it was something she ate, but that's not possible: she's made duck à l'orange countless times! Abruptly it occurs to her, as it occurred to so many of us like ten episodes ago, that George is the hive-maker. Without further ado, she kicks George out onto the stoop, and he whines, "But the kids are away...I was sort of hoping we would make love tonight." Ewww! Bree: "How are we going to do that, George? You have just given me hives." She shuts the door in his face, and once again his hair blows back in that oh-so familiar way. MAVO: "Though painful to hear, George had to admit: at least this excuse was original." You see that there? Kind of funny!

Susan is helping mom Sophie get fitted into a big, fluffy white wedding dress. MAVO says some gross stuff about how little girls, and also big girls (i.e. Susan), dream of white weddings. (You know who else? Billy Idol! Billy Idol dreams of white weddings.) MAVO goes on about how frustrating it is for little big girls to wait for the little big boys in their lives to propose. As Susan pins Sophie's dress, she shoots mournful looks over at Mike, who's on the couch reading a paper. Wait a second. Just how long have Susan and Mike been really, truly dating? A scant year at most, right? Considering that it's been the most tumultuous year ever -- with multiple breakups and get-back-togethers and guns and kidnapping and bodies -- a sane woman should still be miles away from thoughts of big fluffy white dresses. But of course Susan isn't a sane woman, no not at all. Susan absentmindedly stabs Sophie with a pin. Sophie cries out, and Susan, all frustrated, tells her to go to a real dressmaker. Sophie suggests that they trade roles: Susan will put the dress on while Sophie does the pinning, since they're still the exact same size and all. ["Since I'm not afraid, looking at her, that Lesley Ann Warren might Karen Carpenter over at any second, that's just not true." -- Wing Chun] Susan sighs and rolls her eyes at that last part, and Mike chuckles over their bickering. Sophie tells Mike that he'll have to leave during the dress swap because he can't see Susan in a wedding dress -- not until their "big day." Susan, understandably mortified, gasps and gives a teenaged "Mom!" yelp. Mike, absently: "No, it's not a problem, I can see her in it." Both Susan and Sophie's faces fall. What? Mike doesn't want to marry Susan? But then Mike clarifies, still with eyes glued to the paper: "I assume you'll want to pick out your own wedding dress when we get married." This causes the two ladies to explode with excitement. Sophie says that Mike sounds like he proposing. Mike, still not looking up: "Did it? Huh, what do you know." Sophie wonders if he's planning to "pop the question"?! Mike: "Well, if she knows it's coming, then it's not really a 'pop.'" This sends Susan into a spiral of questions about when, approximately, he's going propose. Mike puts her off, once again referring to the definition of "pop," and then heads out. Sophie pumps both fists into the air with a big "yay!" Susan gives another little teen-exasperated "Mom!," but then bites her lip and smiles.

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Desperate Housewives

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