Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: D | Grade It Now!
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What If We Had An Episode And Nothing Happened?

Lynette's alone in her room later when Gaby comes in with flowers. They hold hands without words and both women cry. Then Gaby says she doesn't know how to thank Lynette for saving Celia's life, or how sorry she is... She's too choked up to finish, so Lynette does. She says they were going to name him Patrick, and he would have been amazing.

Mary Alice picks up and says the funeral for Karl Meyer was a dignified affair. We see Julie, MJ and Susan in the front row (but no Mike, weirdly), as Mary Alice says it was attended by friends and family. The camera pans to Bree as MAVO adds "and those who loved him." She goes on to say the preacher spoke about the nature of tragedy, which causes people to ask "what if": "What if he hadn't died?" "What if I had chosen differently?" "What if I had made that mistake?" And then the preacher says the best way to honor those who have died is to focus on what was, and to keep on living the best way we know how. Back with Lynette, MAVO says, "And, in time, that is exactly what my friends would do." Is she talking about her own death now, or the baby's, or Karl's? Does it matter?

Next week: Susan goes to a strip club and then tells Mike that Destiny says hello. Announcer guy says the Desperate Housewives bare it all. Susan's mouth is agape. Bree tells someone she had an affair. Then she leads Orson out of a house in a wheelchair, as he tells her to stop it right now. He tells Mike his wife's holding him hostage, and Mike says, "We've all been there, big guy." Juanita looks at her parents and the principal at her school and says, "I'm Mexican?!" And then Susan strips at the club, and tells a baffled Mike she's just giving people what they want. I'm sorry to disagree, but no one wants that.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why we think Wisteria Lane needs an NCIS.

DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, thinks she's special even if God didn't ever go to the trouble of saving her from a plane crash. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.

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Desperate Housewives

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