Mary Alice returns for more voiceover to tell us about another wedding at Fairview Presbyterian. She says the minister spoke about the nature of marriage: the sublime joy of giving birth (Lynette runs out to be sick); the immense pleasure of raising a family (Gaby trying to stop Ana from flirting with an oldster); the importance of lifelong fidelity (Bree with Orson, but looking over her shoulder at Karl). And then Mary Alice says the minister said what all ministers say: "You may now kiss the bride." The groom, who is Mike, wondered if he was doing the right thing. The bride is totally covered in the thickest veil in the history of the world. He pulls back the veil as the camera pulls back and he kisses her, but we don't see who it is. Mary Alice says that's when the bells began to ring, telling him he had. Like we care who Mike married. This is Desperate Housewives, so we obviously know it won't last either way.

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DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.