Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B+ | 1 USERS: A+

Cut to the diner again. Noah is telling a story to somebody about a dog he bought his wife that turned out to have a blood disease, which became expensive to medicate. His dining companion points out that at least the dog made Noah's wife happy. Thank you, dining companion, for giving Noah his segue. "Let's talk about what's going to make you happy," Noah intones, and we see that his companion is Super-Duper Faux Harrison Ford, who smiles greedily as Noah shovels pie into his self-satisfied maw.

Pie was apparently all it took to get Mary Alice interested in this story again. She resumes her gleeful narration: "Yes, each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies. The worst are the ones we tell ourselves before we fall asleep...telling ourselves we're happy..." Bree lies awake, sneaking a peek at her Submissive. "...Or that he's happy..." Lynette stares at Gay Matt's snoozing body. "...That we can change..." Justin, also in bed, is vexed at his frothing hormones that only implore him to bone other men. "...Or that he will change his mind." Danielle waahs to herself that, after all her practice with bananas, she won't actually get to roll a condom onto actual man meat. "We persuade ourselves we can live with our sins..." Guess what? Mike's awake! In bed! He rolls over so that we are sure to get our gratuitous nip shot before fading over to Susan: "Or that we can live without him." Susan is crying. You'll be okay, Susan. You've only known him for a few months. Mary Alice wraps up the story in a nice, neat bow. "Yes, each night before we fall asleep, we lie to ourselves, in the desperate, desperate hope that come morning it will all be true," she says, and you can just hear the twinkling, smug smile on her lips as the words drip like syrup from her tongue.

The End.

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Desperate Housewives




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