Desperate Housewives

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
The Evil Leading the Blind

Orson's sleepwalking, and since he and Bree are still staying in Susan's house, he ends up in Susan's kitchen, muttering, "I had to do something." Where the patented Desperate Housewives wackiness comes in is in the fact that Susan finds him there while seeking to satisfy a late-night pregnancy craving, and also from the fact that Orson is naked. Madcap!

Tom comes home from work three hours late. Lynette, sitting up in bed and sporting a head of growing-back-from-chemo hair that makes her look like a dandelion impersonating Annie Lennox, accuses him of stewing over Rick's return. But Tom insists that he's welcoming the competition, and has spent the last three hours working on their menu. He compliments her new look, and she gives the mirror a rueful smile and agrees, "Yeah, it's coming back." Ooh, significant.

The next morning, Orson comes downstairs to find Susan busily disinfecting the stool his bare ass was perched on the night before. Of course he has no idea what happened last night, and is quite disbelieving of Susan's story. When Bree comes down and hears about it, she decides that Susan had a sex dream. Orson plays along, saying temporarily single Susan just projected her feelings onto the "nearest available sex machine," in such a dorky way that I can't help cracking up. He bops off, and Bree suggests Susan simply climb into the tub with a romance novel. But Bree's old-fashioned, so she doesn't also suggest a shower nozzle.

Gabby is not at all dressed for her sojourn to "Price Warehouse," especially the heels that are so not suited for a trek across an expansive parking lot. She runs into Lynette on the way in, and complains about the lack of valet parking and the excessive number of handicapped spaces near the door. Lynette points out that Carlos, being blind, probably qualifies for a permit. Gabby gets a glint in her eye, because it's been almost ten minutes since she was a total asshole, unless you count all the condescending remarks she was making to Lynette just now.

Bree and Katherine sit at the Mayfair kitchen table, going over plans for the Founder's Ball. At first they seem to be going out of their way to be nice to each other and leave space for each other's ideas, but when Katherine hauls out a scrapbook the size of a tombstone, it becomes clear that things will very shortly be, as they say, on.

Dylan and Julie are up in Dylan's room with cookies, as Dylan complains about the whole thing and how she plans to beg off Katherine's request that she be a greeter. Julie's like, yeah, I'm in though, and also, stop being such a downer all the time. Dylan seems to be getting on board. Meanwhile, downstairs, Bree is trying to swallow both Katherine's relatively avant-garde ideas for the ball, and her pride at Katherine's condescending attitude. "Isn't learning fun?" Katherine smarms.

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Desperate Housewives




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