Previously: oh, just everything that happened in last week's season premiere episode. If you missed it, you'll just have to read up.
And right in with the MAVO: "Brides are sensitive creatures, and no one knows this better than the bridesmaids who have to deal with them." We get a quick shot of each of the Ladies being diplomatic with Bree: Susan, while fitting Bree's dress, comments that a "ten-foot train is nice," but that a shorter one would perhaps trip fewer people; Lynette advises Bree away from a menu of "smoked rabbit" in favor of the slightly less exotic chicken (and as someone who has been to many weddings in my day -- twenty and counting -- I can vouch for the fact that chicken is a wildly popular nuptial menu item. People love the chicken. Stuffed chicken, chicken rolled in prosciutto, chicken smothered in a thick chickeny sauce. Chicken, chicken, chicken!); and Gabby agrees that while a string quartet may be lovely, if Bree got a live band, "maybe people could dance, as opposed to...sway."
And then there's the inevitable bridesmaid dress scene. Bree has decked out bridesmaids Lynette, Gabby, and Susan (no Danielle?) in fluffy layered grass-green halter dresses with purple ribbon, and a nosegay of faux purple flowers at each dress's waist. They're not the worst bridesmaid dresses I've ever seen, but they're not doing the Ladies any favors. Though holy wow do these three women have well-toned arms and shockingly scooped-out clavicles! Bree tells them how stoked she is to have found the dresses, since she's only had two weeks to put the whole ceremony together. Really? A perfectionist like Bree gives herself just two weeks to plan a hugely important and public event like her wedding? Why oh why the rush? Is this maybe Bree's way of compensating for guilt she feels over suspecting, deep down, that Orson is a murderer? Oh, Bree. The Ladies are right with me with the "Why the rush?" sentiment, and gently remind Bree that she doesn't need to race into anything. Bree brushes aside their warnings, sure that, with the Ladies' help, she'll be able to pull the wedding together in time. Gabby and Lynette pull off their shoes, which look painful, and I spy a flash of red leather on the soles. Oh my god, are those Christian Louboutins? As in shoes with a price tag of like $700? No wonder the Ladies are grumpy.
Bree hands out the assignments: Lynette's going to work on the seating arrangements, Gabby will be doing the flowers, and Susan? Bree will figure out something for Susan to do sometime soon. Bree races upstairs to get Lynette the seating chart, and the second she leaves, Susan cracks, "Here's a job: how about talking you out of marrying a homicidal dentist?" Gabby and Lynette hiss that there's no real proof that that's true, plus if they say anything, Bree is going to hate them 4ever and ever!!! Susan: "I'm sorry, I cannot sit here on my key lime ass and let Bree make the worst mistake of her life." Ha, key lime ass!