Desperate Housewives
It Takes Two

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It Takes Two

Carlos arrives, wearing a tux -- which, as he complains bitterly to Gabby, he hates: "On my way in, Bree's Aunt Fern asked me to park the car." Gabby: "She's got glaucoma. To her you're nothing but an Hispanic blur." Ha! Gabby very nicely moves in to fix his tie, and he notices that she's actually wearing his mother's pearls. He smiles happily, and you get the feeling that Gabby never actually wore the pearls back when they were together.

Edie and Austin walk into the party, and immediately run into Julie. Edie cheerfully tries to introduce Austin to Julie, but Julie waves off the introduction: "Yeah, we've met. I just didn't recognize him with his shirt on." And then she rolls her eyes and walks away. Now, was that just to spite Austin, or is Julie (understandably) still mad at Edie for burning down her house? Susan walks by and tries to small-talk with Edie about what a great party it is, but Edie just says, "It was," as in, the party was going great until Edie saw Susan. Edie keeps on walking...

...and the camera follows Susan back to Gabby and Carlos. Susan comments on how nice it is to see them getting along, and then asks them if there are any plans afoot for the two of them to reunite. Carlos says, "Maybe," at the very same moment Gabby says, "Oh god, no." Susan, in an immediate evasive maneuver, looks across the room and says, "Wow, is that shrimp?" Susan wanders off, leaving Gabby and Carlos to bicker about the "mixed signals" Gabby's been sending, what with trying to fix his tie, etc. Gabby, by way of sending Carlos a "clear signal," violently unties his tie and then stalks off. That went well!

Susan -- who actually turns out to be at the food table, looking, I guess, for shrimp (the best excuse for leaving an awkward conversation being a true excuse) -- turns and bumps into Married Ian, who's crashed the wedding with hopes of feasting his eyes upon Susan. Why he couldn't just wait until he saw her at the hospital, where they both can be found each and every single day, isn't exactly clear. They banter (he makes up an elaborate lie about his cousin being Orson's dental hygienist and her date coming down with a case of impetigo, blah blah), and you can tell his bold Wedding Crashers-style move is supposed to come off as cute, but it basically just makes him seem like a creepy stalker. Susan makes some excuse about having to do "bridesmaid stuff," and takes off.

Gabby approaches a gay waiter named "Tad" and tells him there's $100 in it for him if he'll help her to make her husband jealous. Why, if she's not interested in getting back with Carlos, would she care about making him jealous? Oh wait; because she is interested in getting back with Carlos! Genius, these two are geniuses. Tad: "Right. So, should I...cup your boob?" Ha! Gabby: "No, I'll drive." Carlos comes into view, and Gabby launches in to her act, throwing her curly My Little Pony hair back and laughing! And then touching Tad's chest! Carlos looks on with exasperation, and then heads over to the bar and orders a tequila. Lynette walks by just as Carlos asks the bartender if there are any "decent single women at this wedding," and the dreaded "bad idea bulb" goes off over Lynette's head. She takes Carlos by the elbow and tells him, "You should come over to our table. That's where all the hotties are."

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Desperate Housewives

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