Desperate Housewives
It Takes Two

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It Takes Two

Edie's fast asleep when some suspect noises downstairs awaken her. Seconds later, she's tiptoe-running out her front door, decked out in an amazing, amazing nightie situation: a white see-through baby doll with a fitted opaque...bra thing with matching briefs underneath. A loaded shotgun completes the look. ["Now that is something they need to add to the Macy's Accessories Wall." -- Wing Chun] Edie spots the burglar -- he's opened a window and is now more than halfway into her house. She cocks her weapon menacingly, and the be-leathered burglar reaches for the stars. (Do you like how we've lurched into Harlequin-romance territory all of a sudden? Edie Brit can do that to a recap.) The burglar turns around, and Edie lowers her weapon. "Austin?" she asks in puzzled recognition.

Inside, Edie grabs two cans of low-rent beer and carries them over to the living room. Austin -- who is blond and handsome in that "toothpaste commercial" way that is conventionally good-looking but not, for some reason, attractive in any way -- is Edie's nephew, and apparently he's having problems with his mother's new boyfriend, a twenty-four-year-old towel boy she brought home, along with a new set of knockers, after a recent cruise. (This show needs a Britt family reunion, stat.) Edie invites Austin to stay with her until things "blow over," and then seals the deal by handing Austin one of her beers, after first pausing to make sure that he's eighteen. Austin: "That's what my ID says." Edie: "Mine too." Ha! So wait, the drinking age in Fairview is eighteen? Perhaps that can help us identify, once and for all, which state we're in here! But after doing (three seconds' worth of) online sleuthing, it seems that many states allow persons under the age of twenty-one to drink as long as they're under the supervision of a "family member," so results remain inconclusive. ["Or? Fairview is located in Alberta, Manitoba, or Quebec." -- Wing Chun]

Gabby is doing her yoga stretches when Xiao Mei the Money -- fanning herself with a huge white fan and wearing nothing but a short white robe-- wanders down from upstairs. Gabby snaps at her to get back into bed, per the doctor's orders, but Money is "bored." Gabby: "Well, why don't you try putting on a pair of pants? That should kill a couple of hours." Ha! The doorbell rings; it's Carlos. Carlos spots Money on the stairs and mother-hens that she shouldn't be up: "That can't be good for her!" Gabby: "Or the stairs." Wow, yet another Ha! So Carlos has stopped by to return his mother's pearls to Gabby as a peace offering. After some prodding from Carlos, Gabby reciprocates by inviting him to be her "guest" at Bree's wedding.

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Desperate Housewives

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