Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B+ | 592 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
It Wasn't Meant To Happen

Lynette walks out and spies Tom looking over some papers in the conference room. He looks up at her and smiles a big smile, and she smiles a reluctant little smile. Wait a second, I'm confused. Was Lynette suggesting that Ed find cause, or was she trying to point out that Ed had no cause? In other words, is she helping Ed to fire Tom? Because I know that she was against him getting the job there, but trying to get him canned would be really, really low, even for Lynette. But since she didn't quit the very second Ed proposed the scheme -- which, to my mind, is the only thing she could/should do -- it's not looking good.

Edie comes over to Susan's house and asks after the state of Susan's eye. Susan, laughing: "Oh, it's still a little red, but I think I got all the hot sauce out." Still standing at the door, Edie uncomfortably reminds Susan about how, when she said they were like sisters? Before? She didn't actually mean it. But now, after their bar brawl, she actually does. Edie, nicely and sincerely: "Thank you, thank you for having my back." They hug awkwardly, aw, and then a car drives by and Edie excuses herself to go meet with the driver they just spotted. Edie runs up behind the man just as he's getting out of his car. His name is Oliver, he has a mustache, and he is a PI. Edie's hired him to find out whose bed Karl's been sleeping in, so that Edie can "nail that ho to the wall." Oh, Susan.

At the house of the rotten Applewrongs, Caleb is sleeping on the couch. Matthew tiptoes down from upstairs and quietly wakes his brother. When Caleb's awake, Matthew tells him, "It's time," ugh.

Cut to Caleb jogging cheerfully up the street and into Casa Van de Kiss. Danielle is sitting in her room, brushing her hair, when she spies Caleb in the mirror. Bree is busy putting away her pearls, of course, when she hears a scream coming from Danielle's room. Without hesitating, Bree runs over to her bedside table and grabs a gun. She runs into Danielle's room and fires her gun into the air. Caleb stops pawing at Danielle and cowers in the corner. Bree orders Danielle to call the police, but she refuses on the grounds that her love, Matthew, and his mother will get into trouble, too. Danielle cries and begs and looks very, very rough.

Cut to Bree having it out with Betty: "If I hadn't been in the house, he could have raped her. Or worse." Betty absorbs this news with eerie calm, and Matthew comes in to say that Caleb is locked up in his room. Bree tells Betty that their agreement is officially off, and that if Caleb isn't gone by tomorrow, Bree is calling the police. Matthew promises Bree that Caleb will be taken care of, and then he asks if he can go visit Danielle. Bree agrees, and Matthew gives Betty's shoulder a little squeeze as he leaves. Bree leans in way close to Betty's face and tells her how very serious she is about all of this: "Either you do something, or I will." Betty, with the robotic calm of someone deeply under the control of an alien force: "Bree. Stop worrying. I understand what needs to happen now."

Desperate Housewives

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