Lynette goes tearing into Ed's office to explain that, clearly, the message was meant for husband Tom. Ed, with surprising cool, tells her not to worry about it; it was an "honest mistake." Lynette thanks him, and then heads back to her office to go "continue to feel like a huge pervert." Ha! Ed, self-pityingly: "At least you and Tom have a love life." Run, Lynette, RUN! But crafty Lynette starts to thinking: maybe if Ed and Fran could manage to get it on, then all these late nights would come to an end! So she "casually" tells him that he doesn't have to be "resigned" to problems in "that area." Ed: "What are you talking about -- hookers?" Titter! Lynette clarifies: "I mean you and Fran could...spice it up a bit. Get the old juices flowing again?" Uhhhh. Ed: "Oh, I see. Kind of like 'I want 2 lick you from head to foot'?" Lynette laughs uncomfortably, and yet still she stays seated: "Okay, that wasn't my best work. But you can't deny results. IMing works! When I get home tonight, Tom and I..." Just as she starts really warming to the topic, Lynette catches herself. Yeah, please stop, Lynette, you're cringing me out. But Lynette just won't listen to me. She forges ahead with the creepy and inappropriate talk with her creepy and inappropriate boss: "Well, I'm going to be exhausted, so I'll probably just lay [sic] there. But trust me: Tom is going to go to TOWN." Oh, sigh, ew. Ed matter-of-factly reports that actually he has been thinking a lot about hookers lately. And with that, Lynette finally, FINALLY gets up and leaves. Can I file a sexual harassment suit for having to watch that scene?
The Sideways Sex Addict is slinging donuts down at the donut shop. (This show may disappoint in many ways, but I love how the auxiliary characters work at toothsome pancake outlets and donut farms.) Bree tries to convince Claude, in the prissiest and primmest of tones, that she's no threat to Hempy's sex sobriety, given her "unwavering moral compass." But M.C. Flappy Claude isn't buying it. He tells her she has no idea what she's dealing with -- the sordid sexual encounters, the cruising sessions in the park, the "compulsive masturbation." A donut customer overhears this last morsel (hard not to, since M.C. Flappy Claude is yelling, yelling, yelling) and skitters out of the store. M.C. Flappy Claude finishes his tirade by telling Bree that, for guys like Hempy and himself, sex is an "empty and ugly compulsion."