Desperate Housewives
It Wasn't Meant To Happen

Episode Report Card
Evany: B | Grade It Now!
It Wasn't Meant To Happen

Matthew comes into Danielle's room, and there's stuff everywhere. Danielle, the shoulder of her pajamas torn, is moping in a the corner. But once she sees that Matthew is alone, she gives him an evil little smile: "Did it work?" Matthew, with his own kind of robotic-ness, tells her it went "perfectly." Wow, it turns out Danielle is even more evil than Andrew! Hey, where's Andrew?

The next morning, Betty is unpacking her groceries. Matthew is rattling off a list of potential mental facilities for Caleb. Betty hands him a huge, huge ham, and then tells him that she promised herself she'd never send Caleb away: "How long do you think it would be before he'd act out, maybe hurt somebody? Couple of days? Week? Then they'd throw him in a straitjacket and drug away what's left of his mind." Matthew: "But if we don't send him to a hospital, he's going to end up in prison. Don't you think that's worse?" Betty emphatically agrees. Matthew: "So what the hell are we going to do?" Betty spins and hands him a bottle of Phenobarbital -- which, according to the boards, is a heavy, heavy drug that is used to sedate people who have seizures. It's prescription-only, but as we've seen before, Betty is an Olympic champion of lying her way into heavy-duty prescriptions. Betty, as tragic music swells: "It's easy, it's painless. Just a few drops and he simply falls asleep." Matthew looks stunned. This wasn't part of the plan! Betty: "Caleb was meant for a better world than this, Matthew. It's time to give your brother the peace he deserves." Uh oh.

Gabby is happily frolicking with Lily when the dreaded doorbell rings. It's a lawman, flanked by two uniformed police people. They've come for the baby. Gabby is confused: she got the bio-dad to sign away his rights. But it turns out that now it's actually Stripper Libby who wants the baby, and "until the adoption is legally finalized, the birth mother can still change her mind." Stripper Libby and Frank get out of the police car and eye the Solises with...I don't know, embarrassment? Apparently, Frank's sworn off the drugs and they now want to make a go of the whole family thing. At this point, Gabby totally, totally loses it. She starts screaming "No" and "no" and "no." Libby is all, "I'll totally give you all your money back." And Gabby shrieks that she doesn't care about the money (that's how serious she is!). Carlos -- with sad, sad reluctance -- hands off the baby to the policewoman. Gabby babbles that she loved her baby. She fed her and Carlos sang to her, and they loved her...all that parent stuff. It's actually kind of an excruciating scene. Much hay was made on the boards about the quality (or lack there of) of Eva's delivery here, and I'll admit that her screeching and crouching was a little over-the-top, and the one moment she tucked her hair behind her ear, that rang a little untrue. Nonetheless, whose eyes were weak and totally traitorous by the end of this scene? In fact, whose eyes started leaking all over again come recap time? That's right, Evany Thomas's.

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Desperate Housewives




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