Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Dysfunctional Families
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Jackson met Mike and MJ. Gaby's depressed because her life sucks (no money, fat kids, blind husband). Danielle took Benjamin from Bree. Creepy Dave and Mrs. McCluskey became enemies when he threatened her and then stole her cat.

Speaking of cats, we open on a cute little boy's face as Mary Alice says that Benjamin Katz was six and didn't understand a lot of things: why the woman you call "Mommy" (Bree) isn't always your mother, why the man who was always there for you (Orson) is suddenly taken away -- in handcuffs (that would be the fault of the woman you used to call "Mommy," Benjamin), or why one day you go for a ride (with Danielle) and never come back. But no one explains any of this to Benjamin, of course. Then he might turn out well-adjusted or something. And no one whose life begins on Wisteria Lane can turn out well. It's in the contract. Bree and Orson are anxiously awaiting Danielle and Benjamin's arrival. Orson tells Bree to remember to be on her best behavior. She says she doesn't require lectures on tact. He says, maybe not "require," but definitely "benefit from." Or wait, I said that. Orson just says he knows that, but they've missed Benjy so much. She says she knows what's at stake. He asks her to please keep her critical thoughts to herself, then.

Right on cue, Danielle gets out of her Prius in a horrifying outfit that can only be described as what a 65-year-old hippie might wear to visit Bollywood. Bree bites her tongue and whispers to Orson that she's starting already, and then tells Danielle her "ensemble" is "delightfully ethnic." Danielle introduces her husband, Leo, and then Orson asks Benjy if he remembers him. Benjy's not sure, and Orson's clearly dejected, but he plays tough, saying it's okay, because that's what this visit is for. Unless, of course, Bree does something to mess that up. But she'd never do that, would she? Bree and Orson tell them they've made lots of plans for Benjy, including the circus, if it's okay with his mom. He asks, "Can I go, Danielle?" Bree's upset that Benjy's not calling Danielle "Mom." She thinks it's a sign of disrespect, and she adds that she doesn't want anyone calling her Bree. Danielle snots, "Don't worry. I told him to call you 'Granny.' " Mary Alice finishes her intro: Benjamin Katz was only six, but even he could understand this would be a long weekend. Not your strongest opening monologue, Mary Alice. And credits.

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Desperate Housewives

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