Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Dysfunctional Families

Playground shots, looking all green and cheerful. But Mary Alice tells us that any child will tell you that wherever there's a playground, there are also bullies. We get some shots of kids we don't know pushing other kids we don't know around. Mary Alice says the obvious option -- running home to mother -- isn't always what bullied kids want to do. Right then MJ walks into his house, where Susan's looking at herself in a handheld mirror at the dining room table. She asks him how the park was and he tries to just get past her and go to his room, but she calls him back to yank her first grey hair. I have two problems with this: 1) You do not have your 5-year-old pull out your grey hairs, Susan. Try tweezers. 2) Teri Hatcher is 14 years older than I am and I already have had several grey hairs; so this either pisses me off or I think it's ridiculous, although I can't decide which. But the grey hair is really just a plot device for Susan to look at MJ's face, where she sees a very fake looking "scratch" on his chin (more like a big triangle of blood, but I'm no makeup artist) and she tells him (and us) that this is the second time that's happened this week. She asks if someone's picking on him. He doesn't want to talk about it, though she guesses several boys who might be picking on MJ, including a boy whose mom slept in her car last night and a boy who slugged a pony at MJ's birthday. Why aren't these people characters on the show? They sound more fun than whiny Susan, boring Katherine and money-hungry Gaby. He doesn't want to talk about it -- at least not with Susan. He'd rather talk to his dad. She's disappointed, but says they'll give him a call.

Gaby and Carlos are trying to sell Gaby's Aston Martin to a rich-looking Arab-American couple. We know they're rich, because she is bored and texting on her Sidekick while shopping for an Aston Martin. The husband asks his wife, Nebila, what she thinks of the car. She likes it, but doesn't love it, so Carlos offers to knock a grand off the price. The man says if he makes it $5,000, he's got a deal. Gaby says it's priced way below Blue Book, and is mint. The man disagrees, saying there's a ding on the bumper. Gaby's answer to this is that the car's really fast and by the time someone can say " 'Wow, a ding,' you're in the next county." I am thinking her future is not in car sales. Carlos, irritated at Gaby, tells them he'll take four grand off, and the husband agrees. Gaby doesn't, though, because this is her car and the blind guy who can't drive doesn't speak for her. Carlos pulls her aside and reminds her they need the cash. Gaby really wants to keep it, because it's the last thing she has that tells the world she's better than them (awww, the sentimental value). He says they have to pay the mortgage and so they can't afford to be better than anyone. Gaby turns and tosses the keys and asks the couple to take good care of her. Nebila says it's actually for their nanny, which seems to cause Gaby some physical pain. Which, yeah, she wanted to be better than other people, and it turns out even with the car, she was no better than a nanny.

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Desperate Housewives

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